Counseling for Individuals, Couples & Families
Not many people get through life without experiencing burnout at some point. Whether it’s from working more than one job, taking care of a sick loved one, or juggling family life while going back to school, burnout is real, and it negatively impacts your life and health. Common Signs of Burnout If you think you […]
Not many people get through life without experiencing burnout at some point. Whether it’s from working more than one job, taking care of a sick loved one, or juggling family life while going back to school, burnout is real, and it negatively impacts your life and health.
If you think you may be experiencing burnout but are unsure, here are some of the most common signs:
Exercise
You know exercise is necessary for your physical health, but it is also fantastic for your mental and emotional health as well. Physical activity helps our bodies secrete feel-good hormones, which give our mood a boost. So be sure to commit to exercising at least 3-4 times a week.
Get Enough Rest
It’s essential to get enough restorative sleep each night. Sleep not only helps our bodies build and repair new tissue, but it helps us be able to feel calm and focus.
If you have trouble getting enough ZZZZZs each night, skip caffeinated beverages past 2 pm, ban smartphones and other electronics from the bedroom, and establish a relaxing nighttime ritual like meditation, reading, or taking a bath.
Validate Your Feelings
“Keep calm and carry on.” That’s a fun saying for a throw pillow, but it’s not always the best advice. Sometimes it’s important to admit that you are struggling and that you need a break.
Remember to Play
Just because you’re an adult, that doesn’t mean you don’t need some downtime to just have fun. Whether you want to play a sport, enjoy a hobby, or go to the theater, be sure to make time each week to enjoy yourself and your life.
Ask for Help
During stressful times, it’s important to reach out to others for help. Sometimes all we need is a friendly ear to listen to what’s on our minds and hearts. Let your friends and family know you could use a little support.
If your stress levels don’t seem to go down, you may want to consider working with a counselor who can help you navigate your feelings and offer coping strategies to deal with the issues you have going on.
If you’d like to speak with someone, please reach out to me.
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You’ve no doubt heard the expression “men are from Mars, women from Venus.” And while we can all point out some major differences between the sexes, typically those differences all start in one major organ – the brain! One of the biggest complaints women tend to have about men is that they sometimes seem emotionally […]
You’ve no doubt heard the expression “men are from Mars, women from Venus.” And while we can all point out some major differences between the sexes, typically those differences all start in one major organ – the brain!
One of the biggest complaints women tend to have about men is that they sometimes seem emotionally unavailable or distant. This distance stems from what is called “compartmentalization.”
Men tend to compartmentalize their feelings and thoughts about, well, pretty much everything. If you were to look inside a woman’s brain, you might find a comfy quilt made from her thoughts and feelings, all stitched together. Women naturally process thoughts and feelings and integrate them into one cohesive “thing.”
Now if we were to take a look inside of a man’s brain, we’re apt to find a tool cabinet with almost infinite drawers. Men don’t integrate their thoughts and feelings. They tend to file everything away, each thought and emotion getting its own compartment where it sits until the man is ready to deal with it.
Historically speaking, men and women have played different roles within the home and society. Women, traditionally, have been responsible for raising healthy and functioning members of society. For this important task, they need to be able to think and feel at the exact same time. They need to have the skills that allow them to process and integrate thoughts and feelings.
Men, on the other hand, have traditionally been tasked with keeping the family safe, fighting the wars, and building societies, literally. These are incredibly challenging tasks and ones where it isn’t necessarily feasible to think and feel at the same time. When a man is on the battlefield, fighting the enemy and trying to stay alive so he can return to his wife and children, he doesn’t have the time or luxury of processing how he feels about having to kill others so that he doesn’t die.
In other words, compartmentalization is a natural coping mechanism for men. It has served them very, very well throughout history. Compartmentalization does not make men “bad.” It’s simply an evolutionary mechanism that has allowed men to cope.
Compartmentalization is a bit like our natural “fight or flight” mechanism. It served our ancestors well and helped keep them alive. But modern people no longer face the same life or death situations. We’re not, generally speaking, chased by wild mastodons or saber tooth tigers. These days we have mortgage payments and lengthy commutes. But our bodies still kick into “fight or flight” mode and we end up dousing our organs with stress chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol. This wreaks havoc on our health, causing diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease.
Fight or flight served its purpose, but it now tends to cause more harm than good.
Compartmentalization is similar. It definitely has served a great purpose, and it still can in certain situations. But generally speaking, compartmentalization can also wreak havoc on men’s relationships with women.
If you’ve ever tried to wrangle a bunch of baby chicks, you know how hard it is to get them to all move in unison and toward a common destination. This is what it will feel like to decompartmentalize your mind. No one ever said becoming a more well-rounded man was going to be easy.
But in order to strengthen the relationship you have with the women in your life, you’ll need to be willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable for a little bit. You’ll need to begin to integrate your thoughts and feelings. Heck, you’ll need to even admit you have them!
Working with a therapist can be a great way for you to begin your journey. A trained therapist can give you the tools that will help you begin this important integration so you can feel a closer connection to women.
If you’d like to explore treatment, please reach out to me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
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We’ve all read the studies that tell us having a glass or two of wine a day is actually beneficial to our health. But what happens when that glass or two turns into three, four or more? Drinking too much alcohol can have serious ramifications on our health. Here are just some of the ways […]
We’ve all read the studies that tell us having a glass or two of wine a day is actually beneficial to our health. But what happens when that glass or two turns into three, four or more?
Drinking too much alcohol can have serious ramifications on our health. Here are just some of the ways alcohol negatively affects your body and overall health:
Your liver is responsible for breaking down and removing harmful substances from your body, including alcohol. When we drink too much alcohol, over time, it can damage our liver leading to a condition called cirrhosis. Once your liver becomes this damaged, it can no longer remove harmful toxins from your body and you can experience another type of health crisis.
Drinking too much can also damage your pancreas where insulin is made. When the pancreas is no longer functioning optimally and it cannot make enough insulin, your blood sugar levels begin to rise. This can eventually lead to the development of type 2 diabetes.
You know that when you drink too much, you begin to slur your speech. This is because alcohol impacts your central nervous system. Alcohol essentially reduces proper communication between your brain and your body. This is why you have slurred speech and horrible coordination when you’re drunk. Drinking in excess can eventually cause numbness and tingling sensations in your hands and feet. It can also cause you to lose memories because damage occurs to your frontal lobe.
The more you drink, the more you damage the lining of your digestive tract, so you soon become unable to absorb important nutrients from your food. Many alcoholics are suffering from malnutrition.
Drinking in excess also causes ulcers, and sometimes these ulcers can begin to bleed, causing more serious health complications.
Chronic drinkers have a higher risk of developing heart disease and high blood pressure. If left untreated, they also have a higher chance of having a stroke or heart attack.
Alcohol in moderation can be very beneficial to your health. But drinking too much affects your health in a negative way. If you think you may have a drinking problem, please get help.
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While both men and women suffer from drug addiction, the reality is that men tend to suffer at a rate much higher than women. The result is in this country, we are seeing an epidemic of men with drug addictions. Why are the Numbers So High? To really understand the impact of addiction on men, […]
While both men and women suffer from drug addiction, the reality is that men tend to suffer at a rate much higher than women. The result is in this country, we are seeing an epidemic of men with drug addictions.
To really understand the impact of addiction on men, it’s important to look at the statistics. Data put out by the Substance Abuse And Mental Health Administration reported that roughly 67% of all substance abuse admissions in the United States are male. It should also be noted that these numbers hold up, regardless of age, sexual preference, or ethnic group.
But why are these numbers so disproportionately high? One explanation might be that men naturally partake in riskier behaviors. Men tend to be the ones that drive fast, scale buildings, and experiment with illicit drugs.
Men also will turn to drugs to self-medicate their depression and anxiety. While men and women both suffer from depression and anxiety, men don’t typically seek help from a counselor. There is a sense in many men to reach out for help is an act of weakness. And so they go it alone, using alcohol and other drugs to soothe their pain.
Now that we understand a bit more about why drug addiction is a bigger issue for men, let’s take a look at some of the most common signs:
If someone you love is showing one or more of these signs, it may be time to intervene and speak to them about a treatment plan.
Rehabilitation for drug addiction is a complex thing. Our loved one will not only have to detox his body to remove every trace of the drug; he’ll also have to commit to therapy to understand the psychological and behavioral reasons behind the drug addiction.
Therapy can be done one-on-one or in a group setting. And of course, he will need to join a support group such as AA to make sure he stays on track.
If you or a loved one are struggling with drug addiction and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. My goal is to help you navigate the healing process so you can live a happy and fulfilling life.
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Having a baby is an event that typically brings a lot of joy and excitement for couples. However, roughly 60% of new mothers suffer from postpartum depression (PPD), with symptoms being either moderate or severe. Fortunately, PPD is a common health issue with much discussion and content outlining the symptoms and treatment. What’s not commonly […]
Having a baby is an event that typically brings a lot of joy and excitement for couples. However, roughly 60% of new mothers suffer from postpartum depression (PPD), with symptoms being either moderate or severe. Fortunately, PPD is a common health issue with much discussion and content outlining the symptoms and treatment.
What’s not commonly discussed is that new fathers can absolutely suffer from depression as well. While this depression is usually caused by stress and lack of sleep, and not hormonal shifts, the fact remains that men can and do suffer from PPD. In fact, according to the JAMA Network, roughly 10% of new fathers suffer from PPD.
Other research by APA has also shown that a “similar proportion” of new fathers experience some form of depression after childbirth. Since the frequency of depression is fairly similar between new mothers and new fathers, PPD can no longer be viewed as a woman’s issue.
Because of these recent findings, researchers are now recommending that both new mothers AND new fathers (or expectant mothers and fathers) get regular screenings for signs of depression. This is especially important in new mothers and fathers with a history of mental health issues in their own past, or in their family lineage.
A study out of the University of Nevada, Las Vegas published in the Journal of Family Issues found there were a handful of common causes of PPD in new fathers:
Fathers simply didn’t know they could suffer from PPD and so ignored any symptoms they were experiencing, instead of focusing on supporting their partner.
Gender Expectations
Many men feel the need to be “manly” and act like a “tough guy” that isn’t bothered by emotions.
Repressed Feelings
Men are often reluctant to share their feelings, let alone seek help because of them.
With these new findings, hopefully, more men will pay attention to how they are feeling and seek help should they feel depression creeping on.
If you or a loved one are a new father that is suffering from PPD and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
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For some people, working from home is a normal routine. This is, after all, the gig economy, and many people have been freelancing, making a living from their home office for many years now. But for others, working from home is a completely new phenomenon brought about by the global pandemic. For this second group […]
For some people, working from home is a normal routine. This is, after all, the gig economy, and many people have been freelancing, making a living from their home office for many years now. But for others, working from home is a completely new phenomenon brought about by the global pandemic.
For this second group of people, working from home has completely changed their day-to-day lives, and many have found their overall health has taken a toll. With lockdowns and social distancing still mandated in many areas of the country, it’s a good idea to discuss some things you can do to stay healthy while you continue to work from home:
We’ve all heard the stories of people admitting they aren’t showering as often and are staying in their PJs all day. While this was fun and novel at the beginning of the pandemic, allowing this to continue can negatively impact your mental and physical health.
It’s important to keep a daily routine. This means setting an alarm, showering, dressing, etc.
You may not even realize how much more you used to move around at your office or place of work. The office kitchen and bathroom were probably farther away, and you took breaks just to chat with coworkers. It’s important that you get up from time to time and move around at home as well.
It will be FAR TOO EASY to put on weight when working from home unless you make sure to get rid of most junk food and instead, stock up on healthy food and snacks.
Not everyone is cut out for working from home as it can be isolating. If you’re used to being around a lot of people and are feeling lonely, be sure to check in with friends and coworkers throughout the day.
None of us really know when life will return to normal. If you are forced to work from home at this time, be sure to follow these tips so you can stay healthy!
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There comes a time in most of our lives when we feel lost, confused, and unsure of the next decision to make. During times like these, it’s important to have someone in your corner who can advise and guide you on your journey. It can often make sense to turn to someone within our social […]
There comes a time in most of our lives when we feel lost, confused, and unsure of the next decision to make. During times like these, it’s important to have someone in your corner who can advise and guide you on your journey.
It can often make sense to turn to someone within our social circle for mentorship and encouragement. But there are those times and life challenges that may require professional counseling.
If you are dealing with stress and uncertainty and need guidance but are unsure of whether a mentor or counselor makes more sense, here are some things to keep in mind.
Mentors act as role models and provide guidance to others to help them reach specific goals. A mentor can help you learn new skills, develop more confidence, and make better decisions.
A mentor is someone you most likely already know. Typically, a relationship with a mentor will be encouraged between senior and junior employees. A senior employee takes the junior under his or her wing to help the younger person grow and develop professionally.
We also commonly find mentorships in the world of academia. A professor may see something in a particular student and offer their ear and expertise to help guide the student in their pursuit of higher education.
Mentorships do not require payment. The mentor gives of their time and experience freely because they feel satisfaction helping develop others.
While mentoring is an informal relationship you have with someone already in your network, counseling is a formal relationship you build with someone who has studied and become licensed to help people facing the kinds of life struggles you are experiencing.
In a mentorship, you may meet the other person in a variety of locations (cafe, library, park) and at a variety of times (whenever both of you are free). But with counseling, you generally meet at the same scheduled appointment time and in an office setting.
Counseling is very problem-focused, meaning you seek specific advice and guidance from a counselor when you are experiencing stress, anxiety, or depression in your life.
That really depends on what is going on in your life. If you are looking for some general advice about a career path or what degree you should take in college, you most likely need mentorship.
If, on the other hand, you are going through a mental health crisis and need to acquire strategies and tools to help you cope, you should seek guidance from a trained and licensed mental health counselor.
If you think you want to speak with a counselor, please reach out to me. I’d be happy to discuss how I might help.
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“’Til death do us part.” It’s a nice thought. Until about three years into the marriage when you realize you don’t really know the person you married. Premarital counseling is a form of counseling offered by family therapists to help couples who are planning to marry. Premarital counseling is a great way for couples to […]
“’Til death do us part.” It’s a nice thought. Until about three years into the marriage when you realize you don’t really know the person you married.
Premarital counseling is a form of counseling offered by family therapists to help couples who are planning to marry. Premarital counseling is a great way for couples to identify and resolve any potential areas of conflict before tying the knot.
While licensed marriage and family counselors can provide this form of counseling, sometimes individuals may want to work with someone who shares their same faith. Since faith is such an integral part of people’s lives and relationships, it makes sense that couples would want to work with someone who shares and respects their religious and spiritual beliefs.
Here are some specific benefits of participating in premarital counseling with a faith-based counselor:
Every faith has its unique perspective on marriage and commitment. Marriage is not just about spending time with someone you like and find attractive, it’s about joining together in the eyes of God to build an anointed life together. A faith-based counselor can help you pinpoint the reason you two are committing to one another.
If you don’t know exactly what you both believe and where your values lie, how will you successfully raise children? To raise happy and healthy children, parents must be in agreement and alignment with one another and with their holy texts.
Numerous surveys by counselors have uncovered a simple truth: communication problems are the number one factor leading to divorce. Premarital counseling can help couples identify what each other says and how they say it. Faith-based counseling takes it one step further and helps couples respect one another so that successful communication is more likely.
If you’re interested in exploring faith-based counseling, please get in touch with me.
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The old saying goes, “Into every life a little rain must fall.” Stress is like rain. A little of it can be a good thing. But too much can cause havoc and devastation. Our bodies are designed to handle a little bit of acute or sudden stress. But when stress is prolonged or becomes chronic, […]
The old saying goes, “Into every life a little rain must fall.” Stress is like rain. A little of it can be a good thing. But too much can cause havoc and devastation.
Our bodies are designed to handle a little bit of acute or sudden stress. But when stress is prolonged or becomes chronic, it can have devastating consequences to our health.
Here are just some of the ways stress can negatively impact your body:
Respiratory Issues
Prolonged stress can lead to respiratory issues such as shortness of breath. Individuals who do not have an underlying respiratory disease may not be very impacted. But for those with pre-existing conditions such as COPD and asthma, stress can dangerously exacerbate the situation.
Heart Health
When we’re stressed we are in fight or flight mode. This causes our heart to beat faster and our blood vessels to dilate. In short-term scenarios, these physical manifestations help get us out of danger.
But for prolonged periods, this can put a lot of stress on our heart and blood vessels, potentially leading to a heart attack or stroke.
Gut Health
Did you know that 80% of your immune system is located in your gut? It’s incredibly important to ensure your gut is healthy!
But chronic stress can wreak havoc on your gut as it changes the beneficial gut bacteria. And a change in this bacteria can negatively impact your mood. And when you’re already feeling stressed, the last thing you need is to also feel depressed.
Sexual Health
Both the male and female reproductive systems are influenced by the nervous system. When we are stressed, our sexual hormones can get out of balance and we can lose sexual desire. Men may find it hard to achieve and maintain an erection. Stress can also make it hard to conceive and affect a woman’s menstrual cycle.
As you can see, stress can really impact your physical health in a negative way. While we can’t stop the rain from falling or stress from entering our lives, we can practice healthy stress management. That means eating right, getting enough exercise, and quality sleep each night.
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The goal of many psychiatrists is to help their patients without a need for medication. But there are those instances where medication can be incredibly helpful in the healing process. While some patients require only one medication for a short duration, others may require multiple prescriptions over longer periods of time. Regardless of how long […]
The goal of many psychiatrists is to help their patients without a need for medication. But there are those instances where medication can be incredibly helpful in the healing process.
While some patients require only one medication for a short duration, others may require multiple prescriptions over longer periods of time. Regardless of how long a person may need to take a medication, management of medicines is essential in their treatment plan.
Medication management is a process that ensures patients are taking the right medication at the exact right dose for their specific situation. Typically, a psychiatrist will start a new patient on the dose and type of medication that has worked well for similar patients in the past. But numerous follow-up appointments will be scheduled after the initial assessment to ensure the patient’s symptoms are being controlled without any unwanted side effects.
A person may be on a specific dosage of a specific medication for years and be fine. But the body is constantly changing and it may eventually adapt to a specific dose, so the psychiatrist will want to routinely evaluate and adjust when needed.
Many mental health conditions can be treated with therapy alone. In some cases, such as with a phobia, a prescription can help to take the edge off while the therapy is doing the heavy lifting.
There are those times, however, when medications may play a larger role. For instance, if someone is experiencing depression because of a chemical imbalance, there may need to be a reliance on medication to first rebalance the mind.
If you are suffering from depression, anxiety, or any other mental health issue and you wonder if medication might help, your best course of action is to work with a licensed therapist who can assess you and make the proper treatment recommendations.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please give my office a call.
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