Counseling for Individuals, Couples & Families
Aging is not for the faint of heart. While some people approach their senior years eagerly, relishing the thought of retirement and spoiling grandchildren, others may have a hard time accepting the passage of time. It can be challenging for many to deal with medical conditions and limited mobility, find enjoyable, meaningful activities, and reconcile […]
Aging is not for the faint of heart. While some people approach their senior years eagerly, relishing the thought of retirement and spoiling grandchildren, others may have a hard time accepting the passage of time. It can be challenging for many to deal with medical conditions and limited mobility, find enjoyable, meaningful activities, and reconcile with the grief of losing loved ones and their own mortality.
Therapy can be a powerful transformative tool for people of all ages. For older adults, therapy can help them manage their emotions so they can find new meaning and purpose in their Golden years.
Speaking with a therapist can also assist people in working through their grief as friends and family pass on. And it can also be a tremendous help to speak to someone about the fear of their own mortality.
But this is really only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the numerous benefits of therapy. For instance, I have some older clients who are still dealing with self-esteem issues. We’d like to think the older we get the more we accept and love ourselves. Some of my clients have been able to finally break free of that critical voice inside themselves to live a fuller and more satisfying life.
Some of my clients use our sessions to build their confidence. Whether it’s putting themself “back out there” to find a new romance or being able to speak up to their well-intentioned family members who think they know what’s best, we work together to build the confidence they have perhaps lacked for many, many years.
I like to think of myself as a friend who happens to know a lot about psychology, human emotions, and how we can more easily reach our goals. If there is something in your life that is causing you grief or fear, perhaps I can help with that.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please feel free to reach out to me.
SOURCES:
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/aging
https://positivepsychology.com/geriatric-therapy-older-adults-depression/
At some point in our lives, most of us will experience anxiety. It’s actually a natural reaction to many stressors such as starting a new job, taking final exams, and becoming a new parent. Now for many people, the anxiety will subside once the stressor goes away. But for others, anxiety becomes persistent and even […]
At some point in our lives, most of us will experience anxiety. It’s actually a natural reaction to many stressors such as starting a new job, taking final exams, and becoming a new parent.
Now for many people, the anxiety will subside once the stressor goes away. But for others, anxiety becomes persistent and even excessive, even without obvious stressors, interfering with daily life. In these cases, the person is diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, roughly 31% of adults in this country will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their life. In fact, according to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common mental health condition in the United States.
Anxiety disorders include:
Anxiety can trigger symptoms such as:
If you are suffering with an anxiety disorder, life may feel overwhelming most of the time. But know that there is help out there for you. Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, can reduce or eliminate your uncomfortable symptoms. Your therapist can also assess you to see if you are a good candidate for an anti-anxiety medication, at least to start. Of course, I have found there are plenty of alternative options, such as deep breathing, acupuncture, and other relaxation techniques, that have helped my clients find calm and peace.
If you’d like to explore therapy options, please reach out to me. Life can get better.
SOURCES:
https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/types-of-anxiety
https://www.hhs.gov/answers/mental-health-and-substance-abuse/what-are-the-five-major-types-of-anxiety-disorders/index.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-cube/202204/4-types-anxiety
The number one ingredient to any healthy and stable relationship is good communication. When communication is poor, relationships break down. Whether they are platonic, romantic or revolve around business, your relationships will thrive if you improve your communication with others. Here’s how: Be Fully Present Trust and respect must be earned by both parties. And […]
The number one ingredient to any healthy and stable relationship is good communication. When communication is poor, relationships break down.
Whether they are platonic, romantic or revolve around business, your relationships will thrive if you improve your communication with others. Here’s how:
Be Fully Present
Trust and respect must be earned by both parties. And this requires giving each other your full attention. Keep distractions like cell phones out of the conversation. Make eye contact and fully listen to what the other person is saying and how they are saying it.
Use “I” Statements
One of the biggest things that make a person tune out during a conversation is when they are told they are doing something wrong. YOU do this or YOU do that is not the best way to get your feelings across.
Try using more “I” statements. These statements focus on your feelings without casting blame on the other person.
So as an example, instead of saying, “You’re always late!” You can instead say, “I worry when you haven’t shown up and I haven’t heard from you.”
See the difference?
Avoid Negative Communication Patterns
Poor communication is typically the result of negative communication patterns. These include things like passive aggressiveness, ignoring the other person when they are speaking, and yelling.
While you may not be able to change your own negative communication patterns overnight, you can commit to becoming more aware of them and when they happen, stop the pattern and change it.
These are just some of the ways you can improve your communication with others. You may also want to seek the guidance of a couples’ therapist who can offer you even more strategies and a safe space to share your feelings.
If you’d like to explore counseling, please reach out to me. I’d love to help you reconnect with your partner.
SOURCES:
https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/
https://www.verywellmind.com/communication-in-relationships-why-it-matters-and-how-to-improve-5218269
https://us.calmerry.com/blog/relationships/9-ways-to-improve-communication-in-your-relationship/
Bipolar disorder is a condition that affects an individual’s mood. While manageable, the condition not only affects how a person thinks and feels, but also how they behave and act in romantic relationships. For instance, individuals with bipolar disorder experience severe high and low moods, which are typically called manic and depressive episodes. While in […]
Bipolar disorder is a condition that affects an individual’s mood. While manageable, the condition not only affects how a person thinks and feels, but also how they behave and act in romantic relationships. For instance, individuals with bipolar disorder experience severe high and low moods, which are typically called manic and depressive episodes. While in these emotional states, their behavior can scare and confuse their partner.
The good news is, with the right treatment plan, many individuals with bipolar disorder can have healthy and satisfying relationships.
Manic vs Depressive Episodes
In order to understand how bipolar disorder can affect relationships, we need to look at how the two main episodes affect a person’s personality and behavior.
When someone is in a manic state, they are often very irritable. This may cause them to disagree with their partner, and sometimes cause them to look for fights that aren’t really there.
Manic episodes also cause sufferers to partake in risky behaviors, such as binge drinking or gambling sprees. These risky behaviors can cause a lot of tension in the relationship.
Depressive episodes tend to cause the person to become very depressed and less communicative. They may be very weepy and feel hopeless. During these episodes the individual may pull away from their partner. They may also seem so lost and sad their partner feels overwhelmed and unable to help them.
Tips for Healthy Relationships
There is no relationship on the planet that doesn’t require a lot of work and effort. A relationship with a bipolar individual is no different. The good news is, there are numerous ways to build a loving and strong relationship in this situation:
Takeaway
If you’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, or if you are on the verge or diving into a relationship with someone who has, know that the condition does not mean you will be saddled with problems. But a healthy relationship will depend on effectively managing symptoms.
If you’d like to work with a licensed mental health therapist who specializes in working with individuals with bipolar disorder, please give my office a call. I’d be happy to discuss treatment plans and how I may be able to help you experience a profound and loving connection with others.
SOURCES:
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324380
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/mood-disorders/bipolar-relationships-what-to-expect
https://www.bipolarlife.org.au/how-can-bipolar-disorder-affect-relationships/
If you’ve ever experienced a panic attack, you know firsthand the name is apropos. Within seconds you can go from feeling quite well and “ordinary” to experiencing absolute dread and fear. And often with no obvious trigger. It’s a horrible way to live. But you don’t have to live feeling like a helpless victim of […]
If you’ve ever experienced a panic attack, you know firsthand the name is apropos. Within seconds you can go from feeling quite well and “ordinary” to experiencing absolute dread and fear. And often with no obvious trigger. It’s a horrible way to live.
But you don’t have to live feeling like a helpless victim of these attacks. Here are some powerful ways you can stop panic attacks in their tracks:
1. Recognize What’s Happening
If, in the moment, you can recognize that you are having a panic attack and not a heart attack, you can begin to instantly calm yourself at the realization this is temporary. It will pass and you will be okay. And once you gain a little bit of calm, you can employ further techniques.
2. Deep Breathing
Hyperventilating is a common symptoms of a panic attack. Breathing in an erratic pattern tends to make the attack intensify.
Conversely, deep breathing can reduce the symptoms of a panic attack and bring you back to a state of calm. Breathing slowly and deeply signals to the rest of your body that the “threat” is gone and you can get out of “fight or flight” mode.
3. Close Your Eyes
Some people can become triggered by things in their environment. If this happens to you and you find yourself in a fast-paced environment with too much stimuli becoming overwhelmed, close your eyes while taking some deep, slow, full breaths.
4. Practice Mindfulness
Panic attacks tend to cause a feeling of detachment or separation from reality. Mindfulness meditation is powerful because it can help you stay fully present in the here and now. In addition, the practice of meditation has been shown to relieve stress and anxiety.
5. Get Help
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other mental health treatments have been shown to help people suffering with panic attacks. CBT sessions can happen in private, in groups, and even online.
If you are interested in exploring treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’m here to help and answer any questions you may have.
SOURCES:
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-a-panic-attack
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321510
https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-to-stop-a-panic-attack-5202930
Every single human being has two voices battling it out inside their head. The one voice is our champion, encouraging us to feel confident and to reach our fullest potential. Then there’s that other voice. The one that is critical of every move we make. The one that looks at all of our perceived flaws […]
Every single human being has two voices battling it out inside their head. The one voice is our champion, encouraging us to feel confident and to reach our fullest potential.
Then there’s that other voice. The one that is critical of every move we make. The one that looks at all of our perceived flaws under a microscope and calls them out with a thunderous voice. The one who tells us we can’t do anything right and we’ll never amount to anything.
Now which voice is doing the most talking in your life? If you’re like most people, your inner critic is running the show. Ever wish you could tell it to just shut up?
Here are some powerful ways you can silence your inner critic once and for all:
Be More Mindful
In order to silence your inner critic, you must first become aware of it. You cannot change what you are not aware of, right? And this is where mindful meditation comes in.
When we practice being mindful, we tune into the here and now and become FULLY aware of the present. The more you practice mindfulness, the more aware you will be when that negative voice inside you begins to speak.
In addition, mindfulness teaches us that we are not our thoughts, we are the observer of them. Soon you will begin to choose which thoughts to focus on more carefully. This is a powerful shift that can change your life!
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
In a world where 24/7 social media would have us believe that everyone else is smarter, thinner, richer and generally better than we are, it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others. But doing so only gives your inner critic weapons to use against you.
Practice Self-Compassion
You would never treat others the way you treat yourself. Begin to treat yourself with the compassion you would a small child or a wounded kitten you find. No one is perfect. But all of us are worthy of love, kindness and respect. We must begin to show ourselves more love, kindness and respect and we can do that by practicing self-compassion.
Hopefully these tips help you to silence that inner critic once and for all. And if you’d like more help on building your confidence and self-esteem, please get in touch with me. I work with people to empower them so they can build the life they dream about.
SOURCES:
https://www.omaritani.com/blog/how-to-silence-your-inner-critic
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201903/silencing-your-inner-critic
At some point in their life, many people will face a mental health crisis. Perhaps it is the stress from a divorce, anxiety from a move, or grieving the loss of a loved one. There are numerous ways we can tackle mental health to make our entire well-being a priority. But one method that not […]
At some point in their life, many people will face a mental health crisis. Perhaps it is the stress from a divorce, anxiety from a move, or grieving the loss of a loved one. There are numerous ways we can tackle mental health to make our entire well-being a priority. But one method that not nearly enough people speak about is gratitude.
Gratitude, or a feeling of thankfulness, is a powerful alchemist. It can instantly and dramatically change your mood. When one is feeling grateful, it is hard for them to feel anything else. And while you can easily think about all of the things you are thankful for, it is a better idea to write them down in a journal.
Here are some of the mental health benefits of keeping a gratitude journal:
It Helps Us Feel Valued
When we recognize how many blessings we have been given, it is natural for the perception of our own value and worth to increase. This boost in value and self-esteem has been shown to decrease feelings of anxiety, depression and stress.
It Minimizes Negative Behaviors
As I mentioned, when we are focused on the positive, it is almost impossible for us to think about the negative aspects of our lives. This focus on positivity translates into better choices and behavior. We become kinder as well as more empathic and generous. These new ways of feeling and being continually perpetuate goodness coming into our life. And the new cycle continues.
It Helps Motivate Us
When we allow ourselves to feel grateful, we begin to feel more and more inspired. This newfound inspiration ignites our inner passion and motivates us to become our best selves.
I cannot recommend gratitude journals enough. I have seen them perform miracles in my clients’ lives. If you need some help getting started on your gratitude journey, get in touch with me. I would love to discuss more how gratitude journals, and counseling in general, may be able to help you with the mental health challenges you are facing.
SOURCES:
https://www.wellrx.com/news/how-a-gratitude-journal-can-support-your-mental-health/
https://www.sportskeeda.com/health-and-fitness/6-mental-health-benefits-keeping-gratitude-journal
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/comfort-gratitude/202006/the-positive-impact-gratitude-mental-health
Spring is right around the corner and that means many people will begin to get ready to plant their flower and vegetable gardens. Gardening is not only one of the oldest human pastimes, it’s also one of the most popular , with over 75% of the American population taking part according to a National Gardening […]
Spring is right around the corner and that means many people will begin to get ready to plant their flower and vegetable gardens. Gardening is not only one of the oldest human pastimes, it’s also one of the most popular , with over 75% of the American population taking part according to a National Gardening Survey.
If you are an avid gardener, you probably already know the many benefits that come with the hobby. But if you are someone who is considering taking up the hobby, here are some of the benefits you can expect:
Improve Your Immune System
While we can get critical vitamin D from some foods and supplements, there is no better source than the sun. Gardening gives you a great reason to head outdoors and spend some time soaking up those healthy rays. Just 30 minutes of gardening is all that you need to give your immune system a boost.
Fresher Produce
If you grow your own veggies, you know there is nothing quite like going out into your backyard and gathering the ingredients you need for a salad for dinner. Since these veggies are straight out of the ground, they are still loaded with vital nutrients that the produce at our local grocery stores often lack due to long transit times.
As an added bonus, you can save a lot of money growing your own herbs and vegetables!
Family Time
It seems it is getting harder and harder to get the family together for some bonding time, as we’re all so busy with work, school, and extracurricular activities. Gardening is a great (and healthy) way to get everyone together on the weekend to work on a common project.
These are just a handful of reasons why gardening is such a wonderful endeavor. If you haven’t given gardening a try before, make this spring the time you plant a new hobby.
SOURCES:
https://www.benendenhospital.org.uk/health-news/helpful-tips/health-and-wellbeing-benefits-of-growing-your-own-food/
https://www.healthline.com/health/healthful-benefits-of-gardening
https://health.usnews.com/health-care/for-better/articles/5-health-benefits-of-gardening
We all believe we know what narcissism looks like. After all, aren’t a majority of politicians and Hollywood A-listers narcissists, projecting their massive egos onto the world? While that may be true, narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. They walk among us, some of them obvious, and some of them covert. So how can […]
We all believe we know what narcissism looks like. After all, aren’t a majority of politicians and Hollywood A-listers narcissists, projecting their massive egos onto the world?
While that may be true, narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. They walk among us, some of them obvious, and some of them covert.
So how can you tell if you’re dealing with an actual narcissist or just someone who is a bit full of themself? Here are a handful of traits the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) lists as characteristics that someone is a narcissist:
A Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance
Narcissists see themselves as incredibly essential to the success and happiness of other people. In their eyes, they believe they are capable of exceptionally high levels of achievement, whether they are or aren’t in reality.
They are Special or Unique
Narcissists believe they are so special and unique that few people can really understand them. Many will only want to spend time around high-status people.
A Need for Admiration
We all can admit it feels good to be appreciated and admired. But narcissists have an absolute need for admiration and a lot of it.
A Sense of Entitlement
Narcissists truly believe they are the exception to the rule. If there is a line of people waiting to be seated, a narcissist will cut that line because why should they of all people be forced to wait? If you’ve spent any amount of time around an actual narcissist, their entitlement can be shocking as it seems to know no bounds.
A Lack of Empathy
Narcissist simply cannot imagine how others feel. They are wired differently from non-narcissistic people. When you can’t empathize or feel what someone else is, it makes it incredibly easy to abuse those around you.
These are just some of the main traits of a narcissist. Needless to say, spending any amount of time in their presence can be a very toxic and taxing experience.
SOURCES:
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/14-signs-of-narcissism
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202110/the-13-traits-narcissist
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder
There is a very old saying that says, “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” This is a warning to people to not act out in anger or resentment because you only end up harming yourself. Over time, these feelings of resentment can build until the individual develops feelings of depression or anxiety. […]
There is a very old saying that says, “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” This is a warning to people to not act out in anger or resentment because you only end up harming yourself. Over time, these feelings of resentment can build until the individual develops feelings of depression or anxiety.
While forgiving others who have hurt us isn’t always easy, in the end, it greatly benefits our mental health and overall well-being. To be clear, forgiving others does NOT mean you agree with or condor their poor behavior. And it doesn’t mean you are announcing that your feelings don’t matter. Forgiveness simply means letting go of the negative feelings that are holding you down and causing you prolonged distress.
Again, forgiving someone who has hurt you isn’t easy, but it will lead you to a sense of peace and joy. Here are some steps you can take to forgive others:
Process Your Pain
Have you really faced your pain and processed it? You’ll need to do this before you can let those feelings go. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings deeply and fully. Cry, yell, hit your pillow, do whatever it takes.
Forgive Yourself
It takes two to tango, as they say. While we can easily point to others and blame them for the breakup or ugly incident, the truth is, we were there also. We played some role. Even if it was to retaliate in the moment and to show our own ugliness. It’s time to forgive your own humanity and any wrongdoing to yourself or others.
Try to Understand
True forgiveness is impossible without a sense of understanding. You can try to forgive, claim you have forgiven, only to have those negative nagging feelings crop up again and again. When we try to understand why someone has acted the way they have, it can wipe out the negative feelings instantly, almost as if by magic.
A critical parent acts the way they act because they, too, were the victim of a critical parent. An overbearing boss is dealing with a personal tragedy at home. Our cheating spouse is self-sabotaging his or her life because they have incredibly low self-esteem and do not feel they deserve happiness. Life is complicated and human beings are even more so. Try and understand why someone has hurt you. You will be amazed at what this magical A-ha moment can do for you.
And if you’d like to speak to someone and get some guidance and much-needed perspective, please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/complicated-love/202006/the-healing-power-forgiveness
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-power-of-forgiveness
https://www.verywellmind.com/the-benefits-of-forgiveness-3144954