Counseling for Individuals, Couples & Families
For many children, childhood is a time of wonder, play, and discovery. These children have parents who give them the safety and security to explore the world around them and grow to reach their full potential. But some children have one or more parents who lack the right skills or behavior to allow their children […]
For many children, childhood is a time of wonder, play, and discovery. These children have parents who give them the safety and security to explore the world around them and grow to reach their full potential.
But some children have one or more parents who lack the right skills or behavior to allow their children to feel safe, secure, and unconditionally loved. Those children who are raised by someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) often experience prolonged trauma, and the effects of this trauma can linger into adulthood.
When we hear the word narcissist, we often think of certain politicians or celebrities who are known for their boastful and arrogant behavior. And while these traits are definitely annoying, narcissism is far more complex and destructive to those in the relationship with the narcissist, particularly children.
The main characteristics of narcissism are a lack of empathy and the inability to recognize the emotional needs of others. Narcissistic parents also tend to view their offspring as competition while simultaneously denying them independent personhood.
Some other key characteristics of narcissistic parents include:
The following are some common ways kids, and adult children of narcissists, feel about themselves and life in general:
Low Self-Worth
You grow up feeling unseen and unheard. Your emotional needs never really mattered.
Codependency
Narcissistic parents make sure it’s ALWAYS about them. Children grow up feeling 100% responsible for making sure their parent’s needs (financial, emotional, and otherwise) are taken care of. They do not learn how to form healthy boundaries, only how to please others.
Crippling Self-Doubt
Narcissists are liars and manipulators. They will “gaslight” their children into believing a false reality. As a result, children grow up with crippling self-doubt, never believing they can trust their own feelings.
If you believe one or both of your parents was a narcissist and you are suffering from any of these aftereffects, you CAN heal. Working with a therapist who specializes in recovery from narcissistic abuse can put you on the path to self-love, self-compassion, and greater joy and intimacy with others.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
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As young people, we learn to interact with others based on how our family members interact with each other. Once these communication patterns become established in our young minds, it’s hard to change them as adults. This means that any relational patterns that include angry outbursts or aggressive behaviors are apt to appear in our […]
As young people, we learn to interact with others based on how our family members interact with each other. Once these communication patterns become established in our young minds, it’s hard to change them as adults. This means that any relational patterns that include angry outbursts or aggressive behaviors are apt to appear in our relationships later in life.
It’s not easy accepting that you or someone in your immediate family has trouble controlling their anger. But the sooner you can accept it, the sooner you and your family can find help and begin to heal and learn more respectful ways to communicate.
Here are some signs you and/or someone in your family has anger issues:
Fortunately, you and your family do not have to live the way you currently are. Family counselors are trained to identify behavioral patterns that have been passed from one generation to the next. Once these patterns are uncovered, your therapist can help your family learn appropriate expressions and communication patterns. He or she can also facilitate healthy communication among the group, allowing each family member to share their thoughts, concerns, and feelings safely and without judgment.
Family issues do not have to be severe to seek guidance from a trained family therapist. The treatment provides all families the opportunity to understand one another better and communicate in healthier ways.
If you’re interested in getting your family some help, please reach out to me. I’d be more than happy to discuss treatment options.
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