Counseling for Individuals, Couples & Families
For many children, childhood is a time of wonder, play, and discovery. These children have parents who give them the safety and security to explore the world around them and grow to reach their full potential. But some children have one or more parents who lack the right skills or behavior to allow their children […]
For many children, childhood is a time of wonder, play, and discovery. These children have parents who give them the safety and security to explore the world around them and grow to reach their full potential.
But some children have one or more parents who lack the right skills or behavior to allow their children to feel safe, secure, and unconditionally loved. Those children who are raised by someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) often experience prolonged trauma, and the effects of this trauma can linger into adulthood.
When we hear the word narcissist, we often think of certain politicians or celebrities who are known for their boastful and arrogant behavior. And while these traits are definitely annoying, narcissism is far more complex and destructive to those in the relationship with the narcissist, particularly children.
The main characteristics of narcissism are a lack of empathy and the inability to recognize the emotional needs of others. Narcissistic parents also tend to view their offspring as competition while simultaneously denying them independent personhood.
Some other key characteristics of narcissistic parents include:
The following are some common ways kids, and adult children of narcissists, feel about themselves and life in general:
Low Self-Worth
You grow up feeling unseen and unheard. Your emotional needs never really mattered.
Codependency
Narcissistic parents make sure it’s ALWAYS about them. Children grow up feeling 100% responsible for making sure their parent’s needs (financial, emotional, and otherwise) are taken care of. They do not learn how to form healthy boundaries, only how to please others.
Crippling Self-Doubt
Narcissists are liars and manipulators. They will “gaslight” their children into believing a false reality. As a result, children grow up with crippling self-doubt, never believing they can trust their own feelings.
If you believe one or both of your parents was a narcissist and you are suffering from any of these aftereffects, you CAN heal. Working with a therapist who specializes in recovery from narcissistic abuse can put you on the path to self-love, self-compassion, and greater joy and intimacy with others.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
RESOURCES:
At no other time in history have schools had to face so many challenges. The COVID-9 pandemic required teachers, students, and faculty to quickly pivot and move classes to an online environment during times of great uncertainty. Despite the work involved to keep education going, students of all ages have still been significantly impacted by […]
At no other time in history have schools had to face so many challenges. The COVID-9 pandemic required teachers, students, and faculty to quickly pivot and move classes to an online environment during times of great uncertainty.
Despite the work involved to keep education going, students of all ages have still been significantly impacted by the stress of lockdowns. Many students are dealing with mental health challenges as a result.
A recent study looked at 195 students at a large public university in the United States to understand the effects the pandemic has had on their mental health. The researchers found that 71% of the participants were experiencing increased stress and anxiety as well as depressive thoughts.
While many schools have opened back up, many students are still experiencing symptoms of trauma and mental health issues.
It’s important that teachers and faculty become educated themselves on the indicators of a mental health crisis in their students. What is the best way to recognize those students who may be having issues and need extra support?
All educational institutions should put in place universal screenings to identify those students in need. These screenings may involve brief questionnaires to gauge student emotional concerns.
Schools should also be sure to have enough school-based mental health professionals on staff to provide direct support for at-risk individuals.
Students should recognize their feelings and be open to sharing them with others. Reach out to teachers and staff and get the help you need.
And if you are a student who would like to talk with someone about the stress and anxiety you are feeling, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me.
SOURCES:
Having a low self-esteem is something many people of all ages deal with. While a low self-esteem is not considered a mental health condition itself, the way we think about ourselves directly impacts our mental health and overall well-being. What is Self-Esteem? Self-esteem refers to the way people feel about themselves. Someone with a healthy […]
Having a low self-esteem is something many people of all ages deal with. While a low self-esteem is not considered a mental health condition itself, the way we think about ourselves directly impacts our mental health and overall well-being.
Self-esteem refers to the way people feel about themselves. Someone with a healthy or high self-esteem thinks positively about themselves and their abilities. They believe they are deserving of respect and have no problems setting healthy boundaries.
Individuals with low self-esteems do not feel very good about themselves. They constantly measure themselves against others and always come up short. They may not think they are worthy of love and respect and will typically not set healthy boundaries, allowing others to take advantage of them.
The following are some ways a low self-esteem can impact a person’s mental health:
Poor Relationships
Human beings are wired for connections. But when we have low self-esteem, we tend to not put ourselves “out there” socially and even tend to isolate, which can lead to poor relationships and loneliness.
Addiction
Studies have indicated low self-esteem in childhood can lead to addictions later in life. Mandy addicts use alcohol and other substances as a way to cope with negative feelings about themselves.
Depression and Anxiety
Living with low self-esteem day after day, week after week, can very much take its toll and eventually lead to the development of depression and anxiety.
Building self-esteem is important for mental health and to live a happy life. But it’s not necessarily easy to do it. It’s not like losing weight where you can say I am going to eat less and move more.
That is why I recommend working with a trained therapist who specializes in helping people build their self-esteem. A therapist can help you identify your core negative beliefs and determine where they came from. He or she can then help you develop a new, realistic self-esteem that reflects who you truly are.
If you or someone you know is suffering with low self-esteem and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
SOURCES:
https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/July-2016/Why-Self-Esteem-Is-Important-for-Mental-Health
https://www.hormona.io/why-self-esteem-affects-your-mental-health/
Watching a loved-one self-destruct and feeling helpless to stop them can feel devastating, particularly when that person is in complete denial about their unhealthy life patterns. While you may feel hopeless, there is something you can do to try and help your loved one get the help they need to change their life. What is […]
Watching a loved-one self-destruct and feeling helpless to stop them can feel devastating, particularly when that person is in complete denial about their unhealthy life patterns. While you may feel hopeless, there is something you can do to try and help your loved one get the help they need to change their life.
What is an Intervention?
An intervention is a carefully and thoughtfully planned meeting where friends, loved ones, and sometimes colleagues or other community members who care about the person struggling with addiction, come together to confront the person and ask them to accept treatment.
Interventions are led by professional interventionists, who specially trained mental health professionals. An interventionist provides guidance to loved ones and facilitates open communication among the group.
When is it Time for an Intervention?
It’s not easy to recognize when it’s time to confront your loved one. And planning an intervention can feel stressful. What if your loved one gets angry and refuses to participate? What if they retaliate by upping their bad behavior?
While there is no set rule on the best time to have an intervention, usually those closest to the person struggling with addiction simply know it is time. This knowing could be because of a recent DUI. It may be because their loved one is close to losing their job, their spouse and kids, their home. It may be because their health is rapidly deteriorating.
In my experience, the best time to plan an intervention is the sooner rather than later. Often, waiting until your loved one hits rock bottom to voice your concerns can be too late.
If you and your family believe you would like to hold an intervention for a loved one and need some guidance and support, please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
https://www.associationofinterventionspecialists.org/learn-about-intervention/
https://www.seabrook.org/blog/when-is-it-time-for-an-intervention/
https://www.allaboutinterventions.com/what-is-an-intervention/
More and more people are opting to work from home. While this has its advantages, it definitely has its challenges as well. Particularly when your partner also works from home. The following are some tips to help you and your partner share a successful and harmonious dwelling while both working remotely: Give Each Other Space […]
More and more people are opting to work from home. While this has its advantages, it definitely has its challenges as well. Particularly when your partner also works from home.
The following are some tips to help you and your partner share a successful and harmonious dwelling while both working remotely:
Give Each Other Space
You might be tempted to spend every moment together now that you are both home all day. While some couples may be able to pull this off, it’s generally not a good idea to be on top of each other during your work day. For instance, if you partner is at the dining room table on their laptop, it might be a good idea for you to retreat to a spare bedroom with yours. It’s easier for most people to focus and get important work done when they have space and privacy.
Respect Each Other’s Timetable
Remote work often means you can set your own schedule. You may want to get up early and get right to work, while your partner may get more accomplished in the evening hours. As long as you both contribute to household and family chores, be sure to give each other permission to work at the times that suit you best.
Have Open and Clear Communication
There’s a very good chance that neither of you are mind readers. It’s for this reason that you’ve got to be clear about your needs. For instance, if you have an important Zoom call in the afternoon, be sure to let your partner know that you will need quiet and not to be interrupted between such-and-such hours. You might want to consider getting a dry erase board so you both can share any important information from day-to-day.
It won’t necessarily be easy, and it may take some getting used to… but with some consideration for each other’s needs, working from home together may turn out to be a very enjoyable experience!
SOURCES:
https://www.gq.com/story/we-can-work-from-home
https://remote.co/couples-who-both-work-from-home/
The Covid pandemic disrupted the lives of everyone on the globe. But without question, certain professions got hit the hardest. Teachers definitely belong in this category. Numerous teachers were laid off without notice; the rest were forced to adapt quickly and begin teaching remotely. While the pandemic is behind us, the mental health affects on […]
The Covid pandemic disrupted the lives of everyone on the globe. But without question, certain professions got hit the hardest. Teachers definitely belong in this category. Numerous teachers were laid off without notice; the rest were forced to adapt quickly and begin teaching remotely.
While the pandemic is behind us, the mental health affects on teachers are lingering. As these professionals head back to school this fall, it is important that they recognize they may be feeling stressed and mentally exhausted.
If you are a teacher heading back to the classroom, here are some thing you can do to look out for your own mental health:
Put Your Needs First
Teachers tend to be the kinds of people who always put their students’ – and other people’s – needs first. But now is the time to put your needs first, so you have the energy and mental clarity to give to your students throughout the rest of the year. Ask yourself, “What do I need to feel my best so I can be an effective and supportive teacher?”
Adjust Your Expectations
Everyone has been changed by Covid. You can’t expect yourself or anyone else to be the person they were before lockdowns. When you feel yourself judging yourself too harshly, try and adjust your expectations.
Talk to Someone
If your feelings of anxiety, depression or burnout don’t subside, even with making some adjustments to your life, then it’s important that you speak to someone. A mental health professional can help you work through the stress and emotions you have dealt with and may be holding on to. They can also provide coping strategies so you may get back to living a joyful life.
If you or someone you know is a teacher whose mental health has been affected by the Covid pandemic, please reach out to me. I would be happy to discuss treatment options with you.
SOURCES:
https://www.edweek.org/leadership/teachers-mental-health-has-suffered-in-the-pandemic-heres-how-districts-can-help/2021
https://www.kaplanco.com/ii/mental-health-effects-on-educators
https://www.unicef.org/eca/stories/ten-mental-health-and-well-being-tips-teachers
When considering mental health therapy, many Christians turn to Christian counseling for help. But for every one Christian who seeks help from a Christian counselor, there are many more who shy away from the idea. And I think this is because there are some Christian counseling myths that really seem to turn people off. The […]
When considering mental health therapy, many Christians turn to Christian counseling for help. But for every one Christian who seeks help from a Christian counselor, there are many more who shy away from the idea. And I think this is because there are some Christian counseling myths that really seem to turn people off.
The following are some of the most common myths and the truth:
Myth #1: Christian Counselors are Very Judgmental
Nope, not even close. My job as a Christian counselor is to provide my clients with a safe space to work through the pain and trouble in their life. I try my very best to emulate Christ and show my clients love and respect. I focus on listening not judging.
Myth #2: Christian Counselors Just Recite Bible Versus at You
We’re not all bible thumpers! Of course the scripture are a very big part of the Christian faith. And there are many lessons and stories of hope within those pages. But my goal is not to shove anything down anyone’s throat. Usually before even meeting with a client, I send them an intake form, asking them whether or not they are comfortable with or interested in the use of prayer, scriptures, or a discussion of God. I want my clients to be as comfortable as possible and in control of their healing journey.
Myth #3: I Don’t Need Counseling – I Can Just Speak with My Pastor
I definitely think speaking with your pastor or local priest is a great idea. These leaders can offer spiritual guidance in troubling times. But there are some differences to what I offer as a trained counselor.
Counselors have a Master’s degree or higher in psychology, whereas most pastors have received theological training. Counselors have also been licensed and are continually learning and staying up-to-date with the latest research and evidence-based protocols. This allows a Christian counselor to treat the entire personhood of their clients.
If you would like to learn more about what Christian counseling offers or would like to schedule a trial session, please get in touch with me. I’m not here to judge. And I won’t force you to listen to bible scriptures. I’m just here to help.
SOURCES:
https://www.destinycitycounseling.com/blog/top-5-myths-about-christian-counseling-in-tacoma-wa
https://www.mendedlife.com/7-myths-of-christian-counseling/
Many of us experienced social isolation during the recent pandemic. And none of us will deny that those days and weeks were very hard. Thankfully, the pandemic is over, and life for the majority of us has returned to normal. But for some people, social isolation didn’t go away; it is a part of their […]
Many of us experienced social isolation during the recent pandemic. And none of us will deny that those days and weeks were very hard. Thankfully, the pandemic is over, and life for the majority of us has returned to normal.
But for some people, social isolation didn’t go away; it is a part of their “normal” existence.
There are a variety of circumstances that cause people to be isolated from others, or to choose to isolate themselves:
We know there is a strong mind-body connection. How we feel emotionally effects how we feel physically. Studies are now revealing how social isolation can negatively impact our health. Here are just some of the effects on your health:
If you are isolated from others for any reason, it is important to recognize you may be suffering mentally, emotionally, and/or physically. Here are some ways you can cope with the situation:
If you would like to speak to someone about your anxiety or depression caused by isolation as well as the reasons for the isolation, please reach out to me. I offer online therapy for those who feel more comfortable accessing help from home.
SOURCES:
https://publichealth.tulane.edu/blog/effects-of-social-isolation-on-mental-health/
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/social-isolation-mental-health
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/isolation-and-mental-health
Stress is a normal part of life. And a little bit of stress can actually be a good thing. For instance, when we lift weights, we are stressing our muscles, helping them to become bigger and stronger. Similarly, little bits of mental stress can help us become more skilled and resilient. But too much of […]
Stress is a normal part of life. And a little bit of stress can actually be a good thing. For instance, when we lift weights, we are stressing our muscles, helping them to become bigger and stronger. Similarly, little bits of mental stress can help us become more skilled and resilient.
But too much of any type of stress can wreak havoc on our bodies and overall health. The following are the three main types of stress according to the American Psychological Association:
Acute Stress
Acute stress occurs suddenly and out of the blue. Your boss may throw you a big project to finish under a tight deadline. Or you just barely missed a bad car accident. For a short period of time you will experience an elevated heart rate and blood pressure and perhaps a migraine.
Episodic Acute Stress
These are like mini-crises that happen to some people on a fairly regular basis. Some people take on too much responsibility or are somehow overburdened in their life, and so they live in a constant state of tension.
Chronic Stress
Chronic stress is the result of serious life problems that wear us down over months and years. There is really no let up with this type of stress. Chronic stress has been linked to heart disease and stroke.
Seeing a chiropractor won’t magically make you immune from stressful events in your life. But regular chiropractic care can help your body deal with the effects of stress on your body. Whether you need help with tense muscles, ease headache symptoms, or get a better night’s sleep, we can help you hold onto your health and well-being.
If you’d like a free consultation, please give us a call or stop by our office.
Depression is a complex mental health issue that varies widely between individuals. This is why it can be difficult for some people to recognize what may be a situational discomfort that may pass on its own, and what may be more serious and require professional help. The Difference Between Mild and Serious Mental Health Issues […]
Depression is a complex mental health issue that varies widely between individuals. This is why it can be difficult for some people to recognize what may be a situational discomfort that may pass on its own, and what may be more serious and require professional help.
In order to measure the seriousness of a mental health issue, most mental health professionals look at what impact it has on the person’s everyday life. They also take into account the events that led to the issue.
Mild mental health issues are typically less persistent as well as less disruptive to an individual’s everyday life. Serious mental health issues, on the other hand, are often so severe that they negatively impact that person’s relationships and performance at school and work.
As an example, feeling pressure at work about an upcoming deadline will make just about anyone feel stressed and anxious. But if your anxiety becomes so great that you begin calling in sick to work to avoid the project and responsibilities, that would be seen as a disruption in your everyday life. Severe anxiety can lead to panic attacks and that is definitely a reason to seek support.
Something else to keep in mind is the context around the mental health issue. It is perfectly normal to grieve after losing a loved one or to feel anger and resentment after discovering your partner’s infidelity. While it can definitely be helpful to speak with someone during these times, you may not necessarily be experiencing a severe mental health crisis that would warrant help.
It is important to mention that the events of one’s life need not be “serious” in order for you to reach out for help. Whatever it is that you are going through and whatever feelings you are experiencing, they are valid.
The following are some red flags of a mental health crisis that warrant asking for help:
If you or a loved one are experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s time to reach out and ask for help. While the days seem dark right now, they can and will get brighter. I’d love to help you get there, so please get in touch with me so we can set up a time to speak.
SOURCES:
https://www.counseling.org/news/aca-blogs/aca-counseling-corner/aca-counseling-corner-blog/2018/03/01/knowing-when-to-ask-for-help#:~:text=If%20you’re%20facing%20a,to%20seek%20out%20professional%20help
https://jedfoundation.org/resource/mental-health-warning-signs-and-when-to-ask-for-help/
https://www.columbiatribune.com/story/sponsor-story/burrell-behavioral-health/2022/05/02/mental-health-matters-knowing-when-ask-help/9558636002/