Counseling for Individuals, Couples & Families
Meeting with a therapist for the first time can feel frightening and overwhelming. But there are ways to make starting counseling less intimidating. One of those ways is to make sure you’ve chosen a therapist who will be a good fit for you. Before committing to a regular schedule with a therapist, there are 4 […]
Meeting with a therapist for the first time can feel frightening and overwhelming. But there are ways to make starting counseling less intimidating. One of those ways is to make sure you’ve chosen a therapist who will be a good fit for you.
Before committing to a regular schedule with a therapist, there are 4 questions you should know the answers to. These questions can typically be answered in an initial phone or in-person consultation with your potential therapist.
Most therapists specialize in a particular kind of therapy such as CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), Gestalt, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Psychodynamic, or Family Systems. Each of these schools of thought will inform how that therapist works; how they personally believe change and growth occur.
For example, Psychodynamic therapists pay special attention to past relationships and behaviors to help understand current crises. EMDR is used to heal the symptoms of trauma.
It’s also important to understand how your therapist will work with you each week. Will you be assigned homework? What will be expected of you? If you’re seeking therapy for a specific problem, inquire how they would approach it.
If it’s important to you to be able to call, email or text your therapist with questions or concerns in-between sessions, ask what their policy is. Some therapists may only allow contact in case of emergency. If this is the case, you’ll want to be sure to ask what constitutes an emergency.
Some therapists may read email messages or listen to voicemails but will not respond, while others will reply or call you back.
Understanding your potential therapists policy for contact between sessions is essential to ensure you are both a good fit for each other.
Once you know what constitutes an emergency, you’ll want to know how they help you handle one. Some therapists will allow you to call them at home or at their office while others will use an answering service that will get a message to them. Still, others may ask you to all a crisis line or go to the hospital.
You wouldn’t hire a hairdresser to fix your leaky faucet, so why hire a therapist who doesn’t have experience treating people with issues similar to yours. Therapists often specialize in specific areas and become experts on that particular treatment. Don’t be afraid to ask this question to ensure you’re getting the best therapist for your needs.
If they don’t specialize in what you’re looking for, ask if they have any references that do. Often, therapists will refer you out anyway, if they feel that a colleague would be a better fit for you.
Finding the right therapist for you may take some time, but the search will be worthwhile.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help and answer any questions you may have.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, or EMDR, is a set of standardized protocols that incorporate elements from many different treatment approaches. It has been researched extensively and proven effective for the treatment of trauma. What Issues Can EMDR Treat? EMDR is used to treat a variety of mental health issues including: – Panic attacks […]
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, or EMDR, is a set of standardized protocols that incorporate elements from many different treatment approaches. It has been researched extensively and proven effective for the treatment of trauma.
What Issues Can EMDR Treat?
EMDR is used to treat a variety of mental health issues including:
How Exactly Does EMDR Work?
It appears that EMDR has a direct effect on the way the brain processes information. This is very beneficial to someone who has experienced a trauma, as their brain cannot process information as it normally does.
To these people, a moment in time becomes “stuck” in their minds, and they experience the trauma, the sounds, smells and images over and over again. This, in turn, effects how they see the world around them and relate to other people.
After a successful EMDR session, the brain can once again process information normally, and the person no longer relives the trauma. While they still remember that the event happened, they are not physically, mentally or emotionally upset by it.
What is perhaps most interesting about EMDR is that it appears to be very similar to what occurs naturally during REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. For this reason, EMDR can be considered a physiologically based therapy that helps individuals deal with distressing events in a new and less disturbing way.
What are EMDR Sessions Like?
EMDR is an integrative psychotherapy approach that incorporates eight phases of treatment. How long it takes an individual to experience benefits of this therapy depends on their personal history.
Treatment typically targets three different areas: past memories, present disturbance, and future actions. The goal of this treatment is to process information and experiences differently. Each session aims to leave the patient with healthy emotions, understanding, and fresh perspectives that will ultimately lead to healthy and useful future behaviors and interactions.
How Long Does it Take EMDR to Work?
It is often helpful to have one or two sessions with the individual to fully understand the nature of their problem to determine if EMDR therapy will be an appropriate treatment. During these sessions, the therapist will answer any questions the prospective patient may have about EMDR. Once the therapist and individual agree EMDR is the right way to go, actual therapy may begin.
Sessions typically last between 60 and 90 minutes. How many sessions will be required will be based on the type of problem, personal circumstances and the degree of the trauma. EMDR may be used within a standard “talking” therapy, as an adjunctive therapy with a separate therapist, or as a treatment all by itself.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring EMDR treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
When we’re young, life transitions are fun and empowering. We go from crawling to walking, walking to running. We start with training wheels but soon no longer need them. As we age we graduate into higher grades and become more independent. But as adults, life transitions can feel not so fun and far from empowering, […]
When we’re young, life transitions are fun and empowering. We go from crawling to walking, walking to running. We start with training wheels but soon no longer need them. As we age we graduate into higher grades and become more independent.
But as adults, life transitions can feel not so fun and far from empowering, because life transitions can often include loss: loss of a job, a marriage, and loved ones. During these life transitions, we can feel out to sea, completely at the mercy of the tides that seem to be tossing our lifeboat around.
If you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed right now because you are facing one or more life transitions, here are some ways you can navigate these choppy waters:
Slow Down
Have you noticed that the pace of life has picked up? Most likely your heartbeat and breathing have also picked up as a response. It’s time to slow down.
As simple as it may sound, slow, deep breaths are a powerful way to tell your body that everything is okay. Right now, your body is in “fight or flight mode,” as you subconsciously, and maybe even consciously, feel you are being attacked. Making time each day to be still, away from the noise and chaos to breathe deeply and slowly, will slow down your heart rate and make you feel calm and peaceful.
Embrace Uncertainty
I know, it seems completely counterintuitive if not downright impossible. But when we surrender control and embrace the unknown, with an almost scientific curiosity about outcomes, we feel positive emotions (curiosity, wonder) instead of negative emotions (lost, out of control).
Acknowledge the Cycles of Life
Someone once said, “This too shall pass.” Life, like weather, has seasons. While you may feel stuck right now and like nothing is going the way you hoped or planned, recognize the truth, which is, this too shall pass. Transitions are just that, an uncomfortable bridge from one part of life to the next.
Fall Back on Traditions
Rites of passage have been used for thousands of years in all cultures to help people transition from one place in life to another. It’s time to call upon this ancient wisdom of our ancestors and empower ourselves.
Rites of passage put us in the driver’s seat. We can acknowledge that things MUST change because we intuitively understand that the human journey is all about facing challenges and becoming new versions of ourselves.
Life, such as it is, throws us curve balls and sadness and things that cast fear and doubt into our vision. This is natural and no one escapes.
But there ARE ways to navigate these challenges. Try these three tips. And if you’d like additional help along your journey, please get in touch with me.
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We’ve all had those days when the alarm goes off and we lie in bed, feeling depleted of our energy, and maybe even our good mood. We think to ourselves, “I’m not really sick, but I just need a break from real life today.” While taking a sick day is common when you are feeling […]
We’ve all had those days when the alarm goes off and we lie in bed, feeling depleted of our energy, and maybe even our good mood. We think to ourselves, “I’m not really sick, but I just need a break from real life today.” While taking a sick day is common when you are feeling physically unwell, what’s not as common – but perhaps should be – is taking a mental health day when you are feeling mentally and emotionally unwell.
Now many, if not most, companies do offer their employees personal days with no questions asked. But many people save these days for what seems like real-life emergencies. They feel guilty if they use one of these days to simply rest and relax their mind.
The truth is, taking a mental health day from work or school can be extremely important for your overall well-being. It can help you avoid burnout, improve your mood, help you get some much-needed rest, and rejuvenate you so you can tackle “real life” once again.
So how do you know when you are really in need of a mental health day and when you’re just feeling a bit lazy and unmotivated?
Stress
You’ve been feeling overwhelmed and irritable.
You Just Feel… Off
Sometimes we don’t feel like ourselves, but we can’t quite put our finger on what’s wrong. We know we feel anxious and like the world is a bit too much. This is a sure sign you need a break.
Getting Sick More Often
Are you dealing with a cold that “just won’t go away?” When we are stressed, our immune systems become compromised, and it’s harder for us to fight off the common cold.
The bottom line is you should never feel guilty for taking some time for your mental health. I encourage you to take a mental health day every once in a while. Sometimes it’s the absolute best thing we can do for ourselves.
And if you find a mental health day didn’t quite do the trick, you may have more going on in your life that requires more hands-on treatment. If you like the idea of speaking with someone about whatever is bothering you, please get in touch with me so we can discuss treatment options.
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If you’re like most people, you deal with your fair share of stress. And often, this stress leads to an inability to get the quality of sleep necessary for optimal health and well-being. Often, people turn to harmful substances to deal with stress. Whether it’s drinking too much or eating processed “comfort” foods, these unhealthy […]
If you’re like most people, you deal with your fair share of stress. And often, this stress leads to an inability to get the quality of sleep necessary for optimal health and well-being.
Often, people turn to harmful substances to deal with stress. Whether it’s drinking too much or eating processed “comfort” foods, these unhealthy stress beaters tend to make matters far worse.
It’s a much better idea to use a natural substance with a long history of helping balance the body and mind.
Enter: adaptogens.
You most likely use certain plants and herbs in your life already for their benefits. Green tea for antioxidants, ginseng for memory, and ginger for its natural pain relief.
Well, adaptogens are herbs that can help you deal with the effects of stress. But they do so in a very unique and powerful way. These first work to reduce your body’s stress response and then they support your overall health by helping your body achieve balance and harmony, otherwise known as homeostasis.
The long and short of it is, adaptogens can make you feel less anxious, stressed, and depressed. They have even been known to completely turn a situation around and make the person feel energetic, motivated, and optimistic.
Some of the most widely used adaptogens are:
When our bodies react to stress, we are thrown into a “fight or flight” response. Certain hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are produced and pumped out into the bloodstream to help our bodies deal with the danger in our environment. Our heart rates and breathing increase and our blood flow is directed away from our brain and digestion and toward our arms and legs.
This is great for fighting an attacker or running like heck from a hungry bear, but it’s not great for our overall health. Over time, cortisol can help us pack on the weight, especially around our middle. And adrenaline can make it hard for us to relax enough at night to get a good night’s sleep.
So when adaptogens help our body deal with stress, they also help our body deal with the negative effects of the stress response. This means improved sleep, the potential to lose weight around your middle, and better overall health.
As with any supplement, it’s best to speak with your doctor before adding something new to your regimen. This is especially true if you are currently taking medications. Having said this, many doctors do not support the use of non-prescriptive supplements to treat mental health conditions and other diseases.
You may want to find a nutritionist who can help you determine which adaptogen is right for you and what dosage to try.
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Most human beings don’t get through life without dealing with their fair share of stress. But some people seem to deal with more stress than others. For instance, according to a report by the American Psychological Association (APA), both low-income populations and racial minorities have a greater risk of developing mental and physical health issues […]
Most human beings don’t get through life without dealing with their fair share of stress. But some people seem to deal with more stress than others. For instance, according to a report by the American Psychological Association (APA), both low-income populations and racial minorities have a greater risk of developing mental and physical health issues as a result of stress. The APA report focused on the need for raising public awareness regarding the stress-inducing implications of persistent exposure to subtle biases and microaggressions.
In the meantime, what can these populations do to manage their stress so they experience better health outcomes? Here are some proven stress management techniques to cope with whatever life throws at you:
Reframing is an exercise that allows us to see the whole picture. Often times, when we experience a negative situation, we become emotionally wrapped up in the negative. But life is complex, and often there is good to be seen along with the bad. The good may be how we handled a situation or how our friends and family gave us support and strength. When we reframe, we step away from our emotions to look at the situation fully and honestly.
Stress causes tension in the body, and this tension can result in chronic health issues such as high blood pressure and chronic inflammation. It’s important to learn healthy ways to bring about relaxation. You might try tools such as progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, guided imagery, and biofeedback for managing your stress.
Over two decades of research on mindfulness shows that it is highly effective in managing stress. Mindfulness meditation involves fully focusing your awareness on the present moment. Through this practice, you accept your thoughts and feelings without judging them. There are a variety of online resources to help you get started.
When we are stressed, our body experiences the “fight or flight response.” This entails a number of stress hormones to be released into our bloodstream. These hormones make our hearts beat faster and direct blood flow away from our brains and core into our arms and legs so we can remove ourselves from the perceived danger.
But for many of us, the danger is not physical but mental and emotional. And so we don’t burn through these hormones and they linger in our bodies causing damage. For instance, one of the hormones released is cortisol, which if levels are left unchecked, can cause high blood pressure and damage to the brain.
Exercise is one of the best ways to burn through these “fight or flight” chemicals. In addition, exercise helps with the production of feel-good endorphins.
These are just some of the ways you can better manage the stress in your life so it doesn’t negatively impact your health. If at the end of the day, you need more help, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health therapist who can provide you with even more stress management tools.
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If you suffer from anxiety, you know that awful feeling when heart races, you start to sweat, and you feel like you just want to run. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common form of mental illness in the United States, affecting roughly 40 million adults. While […]
If you suffer from anxiety, you know that awful feeling when heart races, you start to sweat, and you feel like you just want to run. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common form of mental illness in the United States, affecting roughly 40 million adults. While anxiety can feel debilitating, there are ways you can manage it.
When we feel anxious, our breathing becomes quicker and shallower. This way of breathing, in turn, makes us feel even more anxious. It’s a vicious cycle.
When you feel the anxiety start to come on, start to focus on your breath and begin to slow it down. Breathe in slowly and deeply for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, then exhale slowly for a count of 4. Repeat this cycle three to five times until you feel yourself begin to calm.
Drinking or eating anything with caffeine in it can exacerbate your anxiety. Studies have even shown that caffeine can trigger an anxiety attack, so try and avoid or greatly limit consumption.
Studies have shown that just 20 minutes of exercise can reduce symptoms of anxiety. Not only does exercising make you feel good about yourself, it actually floods your body with feel-good endorphins, which can totally turn your mood around.
One of the worst parts of feeling anxiety is the feeling that you are out of control. One simple exercise to turn this around is to make a to-do list of small, easy-to-manage tasks. Crossing these tasks off your list will actually empower you and make you feel in control again.
When the plane of a nervous flyer hits turbulence, that nervous flyer must remind themselves that the plane is okay, and it is just a normal occurrence to hit turbulence. People who experience anxiety may also have to remind themselves that they are actually okay when an anxiety attack comes on. Simply tell yourself that you are experiencing anxiety but that you are, basically, okay, you are not going to die.
It can also be very beneficial to talk to someone about your anxiety issues. A therapist will be able to offer more tools and advice on how to cope and manage your anxiety.
If you or someone you love suffers from anxiety and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, men die by suicide more than 3x as often as women. In fact, white males accounted for 69.67% of suicide deaths in 2018. Those are startling statistics. But what’s the reason behind these numbers? Well, according to a recent Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) survey, […]
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, men die by suicide more than 3x as often as women. In fact, white males accounted for 69.67% of suicide deaths in 2018.
Those are startling statistics. But what’s the reason behind these numbers? Well, according to a recent Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) survey, the number of men who seek treatment for depression is far lower than the number of women who seek out guidance.
Some mental health experts believe that certain cultural and social norms, as well as rigid views of masculinity, most likely prevent many men from seeking help. Men also have a much more difficult time trusting, opening up, and communicating their feelings.
Mental health issues also tend to manifest much differently in men than women, resulting in issues going ignored and untreated. Men often either don’t recognize they are in emotional pain or take a “walk it off” attitude toward it. This leads to unprocessed emotions building and building until the man may act out and commit violence against himself or someone else.
Should you or someone you know be experiencing thoughts of suicide, it is critically important that you seek help. While a high level of risk requires hospitalization or intense in-patient out-patient treatment, those not currently in a high-risk crisis can be successfully treated through psychotherapy.
Therapy offers a safe space for men to open up and admit they are hurting and need help. There is no judgment, only compassion, and guided healing. A focus of this therapy will be to address the factors that led to thoughts of suicide, ways to resist the urge to self-harm, and creating a plan that includes coping strategies to address suicidal thoughts should they recur.
Your therapist will also determine whether you may benefit from prescription medications, which are sometimes necessary as a temporary aid to cognitive behavioral therapy.
You don’t need to suffer alone. And seeking help does not make you weak. It actually makes you very strong. If you have had thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out to someone. You may contact me and I would be very happy to discuss what therapy offers in more detail and how I might be able to help.
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In the early 2000s, Brent Bezo, a student in the doctoral psychology program at Carleton University in Ottawa, was living with his wife in Ukraine when they began picking up on subtle notes of resentment and skepticism from the native population. In his conversations with the locals, Bezo specifically remembers detecting references to the Holodomor, […]
In the early 2000s, Brent Bezo, a student in the doctoral psychology program at Carleton University in Ottawa, was living with his wife in Ukraine when they began picking up on subtle notes of resentment and skepticism from the native population. In his conversations with the locals, Bezo specifically remembers detecting references to the Holodomor, a historical event in the early 1930s that ended with millions of Ukrainians starving to death. Many considered it to be a deliberate act of genocide coordinated by Stalin’s regime.
Bezo began to wonder how much of an impact this horrific historical event would have on our current generation. He decided to conduct a qualitative investigation using 45 volunteers from three different generations; the survivors of this tragic event as well as their children and grandchildren. His findings, published in Social Science & Medicine in 2015, showed that each generation had inherited a lack of trust from the one before. Certain behaviors, including anxiety, embarrassment, food hoarding, and overeating, were passed on from one generation to the next.
This is just one study in a growing body of research that looks at how multiple generations have been affected by large-scale cultural and historical suffering. Researchers are now studying the effects of historically traumatic events, including the systematic mass murders of millions during the Holocaust, the involuntary enslavement of African-Americans, and the forced migration of Native Americans. They are finding that the transgenerational repercussions span far beyond the mental effects into familial, social, and cultural expressions as well.
While more research is needed, clinicians are developing effective interventions based on current findings.
For instance, family therapists working with Native American tribes in Canada and the United States help prevent early substance use by improving family communications and reducing family conflicts.
Other clinicians have good outcomes by using a “survival genogram,” which is like a pictorial version of a family tree that highlights family relationships, health, and psychological patterns. This helps children and grandchildren of survivors explore their ancestral life lessons to help them move forward in their current lives.
Many clinicians are still encouraging their clients to use self-care practices such as mindfulness and exercise to reduce potential triggers.
Without question addressing present-day traumas like racism related to original events is key to helping new generations heal and move on. Therapy can guide people in using coping tools and learning better communication to help them on their healing journey.
If you or someone you know is suffering from transgenerational trauma from racism and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
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If you are someone who has been experiencing depression, you may recognize that you need help, but you may be confused as to what therapies will work best for you. In today’s world, where there seems to be a pill to treat pretty much everything, many people assume that a prescribed antidepressant is the best […]
If you are someone who has been experiencing depression, you may recognize that you need help, but you may be confused as to what therapies will work best for you.
In today’s world, where there seems to be a pill to treat pretty much everything, many people assume that a prescribed antidepressant is the best option for them. In fact, a psychiatric review by R. Kathryn McHugh, MD of McLean Hospital in Belmont, MA, found that the bulk of individuals in need of depression and/or anxiety treatment preferred pharmacological interventions to psychological at a ratio of 3:1.
From the study: “The past 10 years have seen a substantial increase in the prescription of antidepressant medications, which surpassed all others as the most commonly prescribed class of medication in the US in 2005.”
Other studies over the years have shown the advantages of skipping drugs altogether and opting instead for psychotherapy. Much of this stems from the fact that commonly prescribed antidepressants often come with a list of nasty side effects, which is not something someone suffering from depression needs to deal with.
The short answer to that question is no. When it comes to mental health and well-being, a one-size-fits-all approach simply doesn’t work.
In my experience helping patients over the years, I have found that a good majority of them can get a handle on their depression symptoms through talk therapy without the need to prescribe any medications. Then again, there have been those clients whose symptoms were so severe, medications were required at first to help them manage. Over time and through cognitive-based therapies, we were able to eventually ween them of the drugs.
My best piece of advice would be to find a therapist you feel comfortable with and let them evaluate you to see if you are a candidate for drug therapy or not. You can then work with them to get your symptoms under control and eventually learn some tools and techniques to naturally help you cope while at the same time uncovering where the depression stems from.
If you are suffering from depression and confused about which form of therapy is right for you, let’s talk. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
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