Counseling for Individuals, Couples & Families
It is said that if you live long enough, you’ll eventually hit middle age. Once they hit that mark, many people begin to look around at their life and notice what is working and what isn’t. Unfortunately, some people notice much of their life isn’t working, at least not in the way they thought it […]
It is said that if you live long enough, you’ll eventually hit middle age. Once they hit that mark, many people begin to look around at their life and notice what is working and what isn’t. Unfortunately, some people notice much of their life isn’t working, at least not in the way they thought it would, and a crisis strikes.
What’s Really Going on in a Midlife Crisis?
For many of us, middle age is the first time in our lives that we pause for a moment to reflect. Birth, in a way, is like a slingshot, catapulting us into life at a significant speed. That momentum never slows as we gain an education, make friends, choose a career, commit to a significant other, have children, raise them as best we can, and plan for our retirement.
Eventually the pace of life begins to slow and we find we have more time to take stock of our lives; of what we’ve become and where we seem to be headed. And what do many of us find at this juncture?
We find we’ve been so busy earning a good living, keeping up with the Joneses (whoever they are), and pleasing everyone around us, that we haven’t always made decisions based on our own self-interests. In other words, we find ourselves lost and unable to recognize our lives as anything that we once imagined.
4 Ways to Cope with a Midlife Crisis
It’s important to understand that in this situation, the word “crisis” is a bit dramatic. Midlife crises aren’t traumas; they are instead wakeup calls that alert us to the fact we need to start taking better care of our minds, hearts and bodies.
With this in mind, here are four ways you can cope with your own midlife wakeup call.
Get Active
As I mentioned, midlife is generally when many of us finally begin to slow down. While this slowing can lead to mental and emotional insights, it can also lead to aches and pains. In other words, slow your pace of life but not your physical activity.
Now is the time to become even more active. If you haven’t been exercising, start now. Take up a new sport, try dance lessons, go hiking. Keeping your body limber and pain-free will help you stay positive.
Embrace Your Creative Side
Everyone has a creative side. That’s what life is, one big creative project. But many of us completely ignore our creative impulses either because of a lack of time or a belief that we’re “not talented enough.” That’s hogwash! Tapping into your creativity is one of the best ways to reconnect with your true self.
Do something to feed your creativity. Write in a journal. Learn how to paint. Take piano lessons. Not only will this bring you joy, learning something new keeps your brain young and active and fends off dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Make Some Changes
Midlife is an opportunity to make some changes you’ve been wanting to make. A change could be a simple as finally painting a room in your house, to getting your teeth whitened or a tattoo you’ve had your eye on, or to finally dumping some of your toxic friends. Start making choices based on your own needs, you’ve earned it.
Hang Out with Like-Minded People
Social interaction is key to a happy and healthy life. But many of us spend the majority of our adult lives around people we don’t like very much: namely coworkers and the parents of our children’s friends. Now is the time to surround yourself with those people who support and nourish you, and share common passions and interests.
A midlife crisis doesn’t have to be a crisis at all but a chance for you to take control and make different choices in your life.
If you or a loved one is experiencing a midlife crisis and is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
A diagnosis of dementia or Alzheimer’s is often a terrifying event for the patient and their family. Slowly losing one’s memories to the point of not recognizing loved ones is a future none of us want to experience. But science is now finding that these cognitive diseases may be preventable through the practice of daily […]
A diagnosis of dementia or Alzheimer’s is often a terrifying event for the patient and their family. Slowly losing one’s memories to the point of not recognizing loved ones is a future none of us want to experience. But science is now finding that these cognitive diseases may be preventable through the practice of daily meditation.
Prescribing Meditation
A recent study from Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center has found that meditation can dramatically slow the progression of Alzheimer’s disease. Adults between the ages of 55 and 90 were divided into two groups. One group received regular care while the other group also practiced meditation and yoga for at least two hours each week.
The researchers found that the group who practiced meditation and yoga each week had significantly less atrophy in the brain, as well as better brain connectivity, than the control group.
In another study, an international team of scientists looked at the brain scans of 50 American men and women who meditated regularly along with brain scans of 50 Americans who did not practice any form of meditation. The findings were startling.
The brain scans of those Americans who did not meditate showed a brain age the same as the person’s actual age. However, the brain scans of those people who regularly meditated were, on average, 7 years younger than the person’s actual age. Researcher Christian Gaser from Jena University Hospital in Germany said of their findings:
“These findings suggest that meditation is beneficial for brain preservation, with a slower rate of brain aging throughout life.”
Other Benefits of Meditation
While the findings of meditation’s impact on the progression of dementia are fairly recent, the brain boosting benefits of meditation have been shown consistently over the last 20 years. Science now suggests that meditation has the ability to:
• Increase protective tissues in the brain
• Prevent atrophy in the hippocampus
• Alleviate stress and anxiety
• Help seniors feel less isolated and lonely
• Increase grey matter in the brain as well as cortical thickness, which is associated with memory and decision-making
Tips on Getting Started with Meditation
Meditation comes easier to some than others. And that’s okay. To get started, there are simply three things you need to understand:
It’s a Practice
They call meditation a practice because there is no perfection involved here. You simply commit to meditating each day and you do the best you can do. It’s not easy quieting all of the mind chatter, as you’ll learn. Just keep at it and you will have your breakthroughs.
Start Slow
You don’t need to start off meditating each day for 20 minutes. In fact, I would recommend that you don’t do that, as you’ll more than likely find it very hard to quiet your mind for that long and you’ll become frustrated. Start with 3 minutes each day. That’s it. Slowly move the time up as you become more comfortable with your practice.
Meditation Should be Fun!
Meditating shouldn’t feel like a chore or something you are forcing yourself to do each day. You should look forward to this quiet time.
The mistake many beginners make is thinking there is only one way to meditate, and that is focusing on your breath. But that’s simply not true.
Yes, many practitioners do focus on their breathing (called mindfulness breathing), but some people focus on the sounds in the immediate area, others gaze at an image or into the flame of a candle, and still others take meditative walks, focusing solely on the movement of walking.
Do some experimentation and find what works best for you and is the most fun.
As we age, it becomes more and more important to take care of our brains. Meditation may be one of the most important things you can do!
Sex is a powerful way for two people to bond and feel true intimacy with one another. But what happens when one person in the relationship has less of a sex drive than the other person? Are they destined for relationship doom, or can they meet somewhere in the middle? The answer is, plenty of […]
Sex is a powerful way for two people to bond and feel true intimacy with one another. But what happens when one person in the relationship has less of a sex drive than the other person? Are they destined for relationship doom, or can they meet somewhere in the middle?
The answer is, plenty of couples suffer from this exact same scenario and many of them have found solutions by working with a sex therapist.
What is a Sex Therapist?
A sex therapist is a certified mental health professional who helps people suffering from sexual difficulties or dysfunction that are not a result of a physical issue. Sex therapists address underlying mental and emotional issues that may be causing the sexual problems you are dealing with. Common issues they help clients with are:
· Low libido
· Erectile dysfunction
· Anxiety related to sex
· An inability to orgasm or get aroused
· Fear of sex
· Mismatched sex drives in couples
· And more…
If you and your partner have mismatched sex drives and are considering seeing a sex therapist, you no doubt have a lot of questions. What will it be like? Will you feel awkward and embarrassed? Do you have to take your clothes off? (no to that last question BTW!)
The following are some things you can expect during a sex therapy session:
Many Questions!
In order for a trained therapist to help you with your problem, you and your partner will need to be pretty open about your sex life. A good therapist will make you comfortable and ease into the conversation. But be prepared to eventually open up and honestly answer questions.
Testing
Since a sex therapist is trained to tackle sexual issues from a mental and emotional angle, he or she may suggest you make an appointment with your doctors to have some bloodwork and other potential tests conducted. Oftentimes, sex drive issues can be a result of imbalanced hormones and other physical ailments.
Homework
Therapy is more effective when the couple continues to do the work at home in-between sessions. I often have my clients try specific exercises at home. This helps them and gives us a starting point at our next session.
The idea of sex therapy can be very intimidating but I assure you, it can be a gentle process that ultimately helps you and your partner get closer together. If you’d like to find out more, please get in touch with me.
SOURCES:
https://smilemakerscollection.com/blog/pleasure-tips/partners-mismatched-libidos/
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-sex-therapist-5210416
One of the most important aspects of adulthood is one’s career. Afterall, most adult Americans will spend a third of their lives at their job. But some studies have revealed that only half of Americans are satisfied with their careers. Many are feeling stressed to the max, and this is affecting their health and overall […]
One of the most important aspects of adulthood is one’s career. Afterall, most adult Americans will spend a third of their lives at their job. But some studies have revealed that only half of Americans are satisfied with their careers. Many are feeling stressed to the max, and this is affecting their health and overall well-being.
Career counseling helps individuals choose and change careers at any stage in their life. A career counselor can help you navigate the stress associated with changing your career or help you brainstorm potential career options.
Career counseling isn’t just for those individuals looking for a career change, it can be incredibly beneficial for those just entering the workforce as well, or those who are looking for ways to climb the proverbial ladder. Career counselors provide their clients with aptitude assessments, resources, networking opportunities and next steps to begin their journey.
A career counselor can be a life coach, a mentor, or a trained therapist. While all will be able to discuss career development and offer appropriate resources, there is a definite advantage to seeing a therapist. And that’s because he or she will be able to address the powerful emotions that often accompany navigating a career path. Whether you’re dealing with stress, fear, or self-esteem issues, a trained therapist can help you get to the root of the emotions so you can conquer them and develop yourself for your ideal career.
If you are having difficulty deciding on the right career, or you are in need of making a career change and would like to speak to someone, please get in touch with me.
SOURCES:
https://zencare.co/mental-health/career-counseling
https://www.careeraddict.com/5-benefits-of-career-counselling
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/career-counseling
Unless you’ve been living under a proverbial rock, you no doubt are aware that inflation is the highest it’s been in decades. From gas at the pumps to food and utilities, most of us are struggling to make ends meet. And without question, this is causing massive stress. If you are feeling intense stress from […]
Unless you’ve been living under a proverbial rock, you no doubt are aware that inflation is the highest it’s been in decades. From gas at the pumps to food and utilities, most of us are struggling to make ends meet. And without question, this is causing massive stress.
If you are feeling intense stress from the impact of inflation, here are some things you can do:
Be Honest
One of the worst things you can do when feeling stress and anxiety is to pretend you’re not. Be honest with yourself and others about what you’re feeling. The old saying goes, “The squeaky wheel gets the oil.” Ignoring your feelings or pretending they aren’t there will only make them louder and louder.
Get Your Mind Off of Things
Equally important as being honest about your stress is not obsessing over it. You really need to unplug from the stress of the economy and distract yourself with something. Mindless activities are actually a great way to quiet those stressful thoughts. Go for a run. Clean your kitchen. Watch an old movie. Whenever the anxiety begins to creep up, stop and do an activity that will calm you.
Find Joy
It’s important to step back and recognize that no matter how crazy the world gets and no matter how stressed we are, there is still plenty of joy all around us. On our darkest days, the sun still shines. Make sure to spend time each day noticing all of those small things that bring joy and happiness into your life. The perfect latte. A sunset. Your child’s laughter. Be thankful for each and every one of these. Gratitude is the great elixir of stress and sadness.
These are just a few ways you can cope with the stress of inflation. You may also want to speak to someone if your stress turns into unmanageable anxiety or depression. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/inflation-stress-anxiety-mental-health_l_62d958ade4b0aad58d18015b
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/how-to-prepare-for-inflation-coping-with-financial-stress/
https://www.cnbc.com/2022/05/18/rising-inflation-has-made-people-feel-anxious-here-are-ways-to-cope.html
Aging is not for the faint of heart. While some people approach their senior years eagerly, relishing the thought of retirement and spoiling grandchildren, others may have a hard time accepting the passage of time. It can be challenging for many to deal with medical conditions and limited mobility, find enjoyable, meaningful activities, and reconcile […]
Aging is not for the faint of heart. While some people approach their senior years eagerly, relishing the thought of retirement and spoiling grandchildren, others may have a hard time accepting the passage of time. It can be challenging for many to deal with medical conditions and limited mobility, find enjoyable, meaningful activities, and reconcile with the grief of losing loved ones and their own mortality.
Therapy can be a powerful transformative tool for people of all ages. For older adults, therapy can help them manage their emotions so they can find new meaning and purpose in their Golden years.
Speaking with a therapist can also assist people in working through their grief as friends and family pass on. And it can also be a tremendous help to speak to someone about the fear of their own mortality.
But this is really only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the numerous benefits of therapy. For instance, I have some older clients who are still dealing with self-esteem issues. We’d like to think the older we get the more we accept and love ourselves. Some of my clients have been able to finally break free of that critical voice inside themselves to live a fuller and more satisfying life.
Some of my clients use our sessions to build their confidence. Whether it’s putting themself “back out there” to find a new romance or being able to speak up to their well-intentioned family members who think they know what’s best, we work together to build the confidence they have perhaps lacked for many, many years.
I like to think of myself as a friend who happens to know a lot about psychology, human emotions, and how we can more easily reach our goals. If there is something in your life that is causing you grief or fear, perhaps I can help with that.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please feel free to reach out to me.
SOURCES:
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/aging
https://positivepsychology.com/geriatric-therapy-older-adults-depression/
At some point in our lives, most of us will experience anxiety. It’s actually a natural reaction to many stressors such as starting a new job, taking final exams, and becoming a new parent. Now for many people, the anxiety will subside once the stressor goes away. But for others, anxiety becomes persistent and even […]
At some point in our lives, most of us will experience anxiety. It’s actually a natural reaction to many stressors such as starting a new job, taking final exams, and becoming a new parent.
Now for many people, the anxiety will subside once the stressor goes away. But for others, anxiety becomes persistent and even excessive, even without obvious stressors, interfering with daily life. In these cases, the person is diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, roughly 31% of adults in this country will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their life. In fact, according to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common mental health condition in the United States.
Anxiety disorders include:
Anxiety can trigger symptoms such as:
If you are suffering with an anxiety disorder, life may feel overwhelming most of the time. But know that there is help out there for you. Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, can reduce or eliminate your uncomfortable symptoms. Your therapist can also assess you to see if you are a good candidate for an anti-anxiety medication, at least to start. Of course, I have found there are plenty of alternative options, such as deep breathing, acupuncture, and other relaxation techniques, that have helped my clients find calm and peace.
If you’d like to explore therapy options, please reach out to me. Life can get better.
SOURCES:
https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/types-of-anxiety
https://www.hhs.gov/answers/mental-health-and-substance-abuse/what-are-the-five-major-types-of-anxiety-disorders/index.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-cube/202204/4-types-anxiety
The number one ingredient to any healthy and stable relationship is good communication. When communication is poor, relationships break down. Whether they are platonic, romantic or revolve around business, your relationships will thrive if you improve your communication with others. Here’s how: Be Fully Present Trust and respect must be earned by both parties. And […]
The number one ingredient to any healthy and stable relationship is good communication. When communication is poor, relationships break down.
Whether they are platonic, romantic or revolve around business, your relationships will thrive if you improve your communication with others. Here’s how:
Be Fully Present
Trust and respect must be earned by both parties. And this requires giving each other your full attention. Keep distractions like cell phones out of the conversation. Make eye contact and fully listen to what the other person is saying and how they are saying it.
Use “I” Statements
One of the biggest things that make a person tune out during a conversation is when they are told they are doing something wrong. YOU do this or YOU do that is not the best way to get your feelings across.
Try using more “I” statements. These statements focus on your feelings without casting blame on the other person.
So as an example, instead of saying, “You’re always late!” You can instead say, “I worry when you haven’t shown up and I haven’t heard from you.”
See the difference?
Avoid Negative Communication Patterns
Poor communication is typically the result of negative communication patterns. These include things like passive aggressiveness, ignoring the other person when they are speaking, and yelling.
While you may not be able to change your own negative communication patterns overnight, you can commit to becoming more aware of them and when they happen, stop the pattern and change it.
These are just some of the ways you can improve your communication with others. You may also want to seek the guidance of a couples’ therapist who can offer you even more strategies and a safe space to share your feelings.
If you’d like to explore counseling, please reach out to me. I’d love to help you reconnect with your partner.
SOURCES:
https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/
https://www.verywellmind.com/communication-in-relationships-why-it-matters-and-how-to-improve-5218269
https://us.calmerry.com/blog/relationships/9-ways-to-improve-communication-in-your-relationship/
Bipolar disorder is a condition that affects an individual’s mood. While manageable, the condition not only affects how a person thinks and feels, but also how they behave and act in romantic relationships. For instance, individuals with bipolar disorder experience severe high and low moods, which are typically called manic and depressive episodes. While in […]
Bipolar disorder is a condition that affects an individual’s mood. While manageable, the condition not only affects how a person thinks and feels, but also how they behave and act in romantic relationships. For instance, individuals with bipolar disorder experience severe high and low moods, which are typically called manic and depressive episodes. While in these emotional states, their behavior can scare and confuse their partner.
The good news is, with the right treatment plan, many individuals with bipolar disorder can have healthy and satisfying relationships.
Manic vs Depressive Episodes
In order to understand how bipolar disorder can affect relationships, we need to look at how the two main episodes affect a person’s personality and behavior.
When someone is in a manic state, they are often very irritable. This may cause them to disagree with their partner, and sometimes cause them to look for fights that aren’t really there.
Manic episodes also cause sufferers to partake in risky behaviors, such as binge drinking or gambling sprees. These risky behaviors can cause a lot of tension in the relationship.
Depressive episodes tend to cause the person to become very depressed and less communicative. They may be very weepy and feel hopeless. During these episodes the individual may pull away from their partner. They may also seem so lost and sad their partner feels overwhelmed and unable to help them.
Tips for Healthy Relationships
There is no relationship on the planet that doesn’t require a lot of work and effort. A relationship with a bipolar individual is no different. The good news is, there are numerous ways to build a loving and strong relationship in this situation:
Takeaway
If you’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, or if you are on the verge or diving into a relationship with someone who has, know that the condition does not mean you will be saddled with problems. But a healthy relationship will depend on effectively managing symptoms.
If you’d like to work with a licensed mental health therapist who specializes in working with individuals with bipolar disorder, please give my office a call. I’d be happy to discuss treatment plans and how I may be able to help you experience a profound and loving connection with others.
SOURCES:
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324380
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/mood-disorders/bipolar-relationships-what-to-expect
https://www.bipolarlife.org.au/how-can-bipolar-disorder-affect-relationships/
If you’ve ever experienced a panic attack, you know firsthand the name is apropos. Within seconds you can go from feeling quite well and “ordinary” to experiencing absolute dread and fear. And often with no obvious trigger. It’s a horrible way to live. But you don’t have to live feeling like a helpless victim of […]
If you’ve ever experienced a panic attack, you know firsthand the name is apropos. Within seconds you can go from feeling quite well and “ordinary” to experiencing absolute dread and fear. And often with no obvious trigger. It’s a horrible way to live.
But you don’t have to live feeling like a helpless victim of these attacks. Here are some powerful ways you can stop panic attacks in their tracks:
1. Recognize What’s Happening
If, in the moment, you can recognize that you are having a panic attack and not a heart attack, you can begin to instantly calm yourself at the realization this is temporary. It will pass and you will be okay. And once you gain a little bit of calm, you can employ further techniques.
2. Deep Breathing
Hyperventilating is a common symptoms of a panic attack. Breathing in an erratic pattern tends to make the attack intensify.
Conversely, deep breathing can reduce the symptoms of a panic attack and bring you back to a state of calm. Breathing slowly and deeply signals to the rest of your body that the “threat” is gone and you can get out of “fight or flight” mode.
3. Close Your Eyes
Some people can become triggered by things in their environment. If this happens to you and you find yourself in a fast-paced environment with too much stimuli becoming overwhelmed, close your eyes while taking some deep, slow, full breaths.
4. Practice Mindfulness
Panic attacks tend to cause a feeling of detachment or separation from reality. Mindfulness meditation is powerful because it can help you stay fully present in the here and now. In addition, the practice of meditation has been shown to relieve stress and anxiety.
5. Get Help
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other mental health treatments have been shown to help people suffering with panic attacks. CBT sessions can happen in private, in groups, and even online.
If you are interested in exploring treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’m here to help and answer any questions you may have.
SOURCES:
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-a-panic-attack
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321510
https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-to-stop-a-panic-attack-5202930