Counseling for Individuals, Couples & Families
It is said that if you live long enough, you’ll eventually hit middle age. Once they hit that mark, many people begin to look around at their life and notice what is working and what isn’t. Unfortunately, some people notice much of their life isn’t working, at least not in the way they thought it […]
It is said that if you live long enough, you’ll eventually hit middle age. Once they hit that mark, many people begin to look around at their life and notice what is working and what isn’t. Unfortunately, some people notice much of their life isn’t working, at least not in the way they thought it would, and a crisis strikes.
What’s Really Going on in a Midlife Crisis?
For many of us, middle age is the first time in our lives that we pause for a moment to reflect. Birth, in a way, is like a slingshot, catapulting us into life at a significant speed. That momentum never slows as we gain an education, make friends, choose a career, commit to a significant other, have children, raise them as best we can, and plan for our retirement.
Eventually the pace of life begins to slow and we find we have more time to take stock of our lives; of what we’ve become and where we seem to be headed. And what do many of us find at this juncture?
We find we’ve been so busy earning a good living, keeping up with the Joneses (whoever they are), and pleasing everyone around us, that we haven’t always made decisions based on our own self-interests. In other words, we find ourselves lost and unable to recognize our lives as anything that we once imagined.
4 Ways to Cope with a Midlife Crisis
It’s important to understand that in this situation, the word “crisis” is a bit dramatic. Midlife crises aren’t traumas; they are instead wakeup calls that alert us to the fact we need to start taking better care of our minds, hearts and bodies.
With this in mind, here are four ways you can cope with your own midlife wakeup call.
Get Active
As I mentioned, midlife is generally when many of us finally begin to slow down. While this slowing can lead to mental and emotional insights, it can also lead to aches and pains. In other words, slow your pace of life but not your physical activity.
Now is the time to become even more active. If you haven’t been exercising, start now. Take up a new sport, try dance lessons, go hiking. Keeping your body limber and pain-free will help you stay positive.
Embrace Your Creative Side
Everyone has a creative side. That’s what life is, one big creative project. But many of us completely ignore our creative impulses either because of a lack of time or a belief that we’re “not talented enough.” That’s hogwash! Tapping into your creativity is one of the best ways to reconnect with your true self.
Do something to feed your creativity. Write in a journal. Learn how to paint. Take piano lessons. Not only will this bring you joy, learning something new keeps your brain young and active and fends off dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Make Some Changes
Midlife is an opportunity to make some changes you’ve been wanting to make. A change could be a simple as finally painting a room in your house, to getting your teeth whitened or a tattoo you’ve had your eye on, or to finally dumping some of your toxic friends. Start making choices based on your own needs, you’ve earned it.
Hang Out with Like-Minded People
Social interaction is key to a happy and healthy life. But many of us spend the majority of our adult lives around people we don’t like very much: namely coworkers and the parents of our children’s friends. Now is the time to surround yourself with those people who support and nourish you, and share common passions and interests.
A midlife crisis doesn’t have to be a crisis at all but a chance for you to take control and make different choices in your life.
If you or a loved one is experiencing a midlife crisis and is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
Into each life a little rain must fall is a way of saying every one of us will experience sadness in our lifetime. It is completely normal and natural. But there are some people who feel something deeper and darker than sadness, and they may feel this way despite there being no triggering event such […]
Into each life a little rain must fall is a way of saying every one of us will experience sadness in our lifetime. It is completely normal and natural. But there are some people who feel something deeper and darker than sadness, and they may feel this way despite there being no triggering event such as the loss of a loved one.
So how can we tell the difference between sadness and depression?
As I just mentioned, sadness is a normal reaction to a difficult event in our life. We may feel sad because of a breakup or from losing a loved one or from leaving our friends after graduation. In other words, we feel sadness about something.
Depression, on the other hand, affects not only our emotions but also how we act and perceive the world. Depression does not require a triggering event. In fact, when we’re depressed, we tend to feel upset about any- and everything.
Depression clouds our entire lives. When we’re depressed, nothing feels as enjoyable or worthwhile as it once did. In short, we simply feel less alive.
To be diagnosed with depression, an individual must be diagnosed with at least five of the following common symptoms for a continual duration of at least two weeks:
If you or a loved one are experiencing depressed, it is very important to reach out for help from a trained mental health therapist. Depression robs you of your life, purpose and happiness, but there are strategies to break free and find joy once again.
I would be happy to discuss some treatment options with you. Please give my office a call.
SOURCES:
https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/depression-vs-sadness
https://screening.mhanational.org/content/am-i-depressed-or-just-sad/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201510/the-important-difference-between-sadness-and-depression
Of all the words in the English language, depression must be one of the most misunderstood. Why does this term seem to confuse so many people? Why is its real meaning so hard to grasp? It is because the term has two starkly contrasting meanings, depending on who is using it. Among clinicians, the term […]
Of all the words in the English language, depression must be one of the most misunderstood. Why does this term seem to confuse so many people? Why is its real meaning so hard to grasp? It is because the term has two starkly contrasting meanings, depending on who is using it.
Among clinicians, the term depression is used to describe a debilitating syndrome that robs people of their energy, memories, ability to concentrate, love and experience joy. This is not just an emotional state, but a physical one that impacts specific regions of the brain. Depression actually lights up the brain’s pain circuitry, inducing a state of suffering that can become debilitating.
Beyond this, depression is actually neurotoxic, meaning the disorder can eventually lead to the death of neurons in critical memory and reasoning areas of the brain, including the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex. Simply stated – depression causes brain damage.
Colloqiual Usage
Confusion abounds when the term ‘depression’ is used by people in everyday conversation, however. In these instances, they usually are referring to something far less serious or clinical. In fact, most people use the term as a synonym for mere sadness or being slightly upset.
For instance, you will often here people make comments such as, “I was so depressed when Starbucks dropped its pumpkin spice latte,” or “Oh my God, I just ripped a whole in my favorite pair of jeans. I am like, so depressed right now.” No, you’re not, you’re bummed, pretty disappointed in fact, but you are certainly not depressed. These kinds of disappointments, while frustrating, are simply a part of life.
But ripped jeans and discontinued menu items have little effect on our ability to function, and the feelings of disappointment and annoyance rarely last for very long. A friendly word from a loved one or a hug is generally all that’s needed to get over the perceived “crisis.”
In contrast, clinical depression often persists for months, and no amount of friendly support from loved ones is enough to make it any less debilitating.
Time for New Language?
And that is where the confusion lies, and why many people simply don’t understand the true ramifications of clinical depression. It is also why those who suffer from depression are met with relative indifference when they open up to friends and family about their condition.
The sad reality is that, because of this profound confusion, many depressed patients are expected to simply “snap out of it” by their friends and family. No one would ever take this attitude with someone suffering from cancer or kidney disease; the admonition is equally offensive and inappropriate in the case of clinical depression.
Perhaps it is time to come up with a new term to describe the symptoms of clinical depression. By using new language, more people might understand the disease and show more compassion toward individuals suffering from it.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is a major depressive disorder that occurs during the same season each year. Also known as the “winter blues,” SAD typically comes on in the fall and winter, when the light is diminished. SAD is believed to affect nearly 10 million Americans and is four times more common in women […]
Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is a major depressive disorder that occurs during the same season each year. Also known as the “winter blues,” SAD typically comes on in the fall and winter, when the light is diminished.
SAD is believed to affect nearly 10 million Americans and is four times more common in women than men. Many people experience symptoms that are severe enough to affect their quality of life.
Though not everyone will experience the same symptoms, here are some of the most common:
If you suffer from SAD, here are some ways you can alleviate your symptoms:
By far the greatest relief, according to research, comes from the use of lightboxes. Lightboxes emit high-intensity light between 2,500 to 10,000 lux. Compare this to a normal light fixture that emits only 250 to 500 lux.
Lightboxes closely mimic the sun’s natural rays, helping our brains produce the right amount of neurotransmitters that are responsible for mood.
Depending on the severity of your symptoms, you may only need to use the lightbox for 30 minutes once a day. For more severe symptoms, people have found relief by using the box for long periods of time and can often feel true relief in as little as two weeks.
Some insurance providers will cover the cost of lightboxes, but not all do, so be sure to speak with your provider.
While it may feel counterintuitive, if not downright impossible, to get up and get moving when you’re feeling depressed, exercise is one of the best ways to improve your mood. Exercise not only reduces stress and tension, but it releases those feel-good endorphins. Studies have also found that one hour of aerobic exercise outdoors (even if the sky is overcast) has the same positive effect on mood as 2.5 hours of using a lightbox.
It’s common to turn to junk food when you’re feeling the winter blues. High-sugar foods tend to give us a temporary boost in energy levels and mood. But then we come crashing down and feel even worse. A better choice is to eat a balanced and nutritious diet, opting for complex carbohydrates like sweet potatoes and whole grains.
If your symptoms are very severe, and if you are having any thoughts of harming yourself, then it is important to speak with a therapist who can help you navigate your depression and offer coping tools.
If you or a loved one are currently suffering from SAD and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
October is National Depression and Mental Health Screening Month, a time when clinicians and their communities come together to spread awareness and combat mental illness. By working together, we can all promote the importance of mental health screenings while reducing the stigma associated with mental health illnesses. Common Symptoms of Depression The following are some […]
October is National Depression and Mental Health Screening Month, a time when clinicians and their communities come together to spread awareness and combat mental illness. By working together, we can all promote the importance of mental health screenings while reducing the stigma associated with mental health illnesses.
The following are some of the most common symptoms of depression. If you or someone you love has been experiencing one or more of these nearly every day for at least two weeks, it’s a sign you or they may be suffering from depression:
It’s common for people battling depression to feel worse during the holidays. That’s one reason why the month of October was chosen as the awareness month; because it gives people plenty of lead time to get help before the festivities hit.
During this time, many clinicians, hospitals, and mental health facilities will either reduce or completely waive the fees for mental health screenings. This makes it far easier for those individuals who believe they may be suffering from depression to receive an affordable and accurate diagnosis.
If you or someone you love is suffering from depression, it’s important to get screened. After your screening, a qualified practitioner will discuss a treatment plan with you that may include talk therapy, medication, or a combination of the two.
If you are someone who has recovered from depression, it’s a wonderful idea to share your journey with others if you feel comfortable doing so. Often when people are struggling with their own darkness, knowing someone has walked through to the other side and is living once again in the light, can offer hope and encouragement.
If you or someone you love is interested in speaking with a trained therapist, please reach out to me. I would be happy to discuss how I might help.
SOURCES:
Many of us experienced social isolation during the recent pandemic. And none of us will deny that those days and weeks were very hard. Thankfully, the pandemic is over, and life for the majority of us has returned to normal. But for some people, social isolation didn’t go away; it is a part of their […]
Many of us experienced social isolation during the recent pandemic. And none of us will deny that those days and weeks were very hard. Thankfully, the pandemic is over, and life for the majority of us has returned to normal.
But for some people, social isolation didn’t go away; it is a part of their “normal” existence.
There are a variety of circumstances that cause people to be isolated from others, or to choose to isolate themselves:
We know there is a strong mind-body connection. How we feel emotionally effects how we feel physically. Studies are now revealing how social isolation can negatively impact our health. Here are just some of the effects on your health:
If you are isolated from others for any reason, it is important to recognize you may be suffering mentally, emotionally, and/or physically. Here are some ways you can cope with the situation:
If you would like to speak to someone about your anxiety or depression caused by isolation as well as the reasons for the isolation, please reach out to me. I offer online therapy for those who feel more comfortable accessing help from home.
SOURCES:
https://publichealth.tulane.edu/blog/effects-of-social-isolation-on-mental-health/
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/social-isolation-mental-health
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/isolation-and-mental-health
Are you an emotional eater? When you’re feeling stressed, do you find yourself ordering in pizza? When something sad happens, do you drown your grief in sugar? If so, you’re not alone. A majority of people deal with the challenges of life by turning to their favorite comfort foods. The trouble is, these foods are […]
Are you an emotional eater? When you’re feeling stressed, do you find yourself ordering in pizza? When something sad happens, do you drown your grief in sugar? If so, you’re not alone. A majority of people deal with the challenges of life by turning to their favorite comfort foods.
The trouble is, these foods are only a temporary fix. They fill a void, and in the case of sugar, give our mood a boost. But then we come crashing down again and may even experience shame and guilt for having binged on food we know is not good for us. This can lead to a vicious cycle of more emotions, more eating, more emotions, more eating. This cycle can ultimately lead to weight gain and even the development of certain chronic diseases like heart disease and type 2 diabetes.
We are what we eat is a very true sentiment, especially when it comes to our brain. When life throws us challenges, we need our brain to work optimally so we can figure out the best way to deal with our circumstances or to process emotions. The trouble with reaching for comfort foods is, they are actually harmful to your brain.
Think of your brain like the engine in a car. You wouldn’t put frozen lattes in your gas tank because you know your car needs the right kind of fuel to run well. Your brain also needs the right kind of fuel. Your brain requires high-quality foods that are loaded with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. These nutrients nourish your brain and protect it from oxidative stress.
Did you know that studies have shown a direct link between a diet high in refined sugars and impaired brain function? And even a worsening of symptoms such as depression?
The bottom line is, while your instinct in the moment may be to reach for those processed comfort foods, do your best to make better food choices. It will be hard at first, but good habits can be formed over time. Your brain will thank you.
SOURCES:
We live in a society that seems obsessed with physical health and weight loss. A majority of people have tried one or more diets to lose weight. People join gyms, juice, and take supplements, all in an effort to optimize their physical health. Sadly, most people don’t give their mental health a second thought. The […]
We live in a society that seems obsessed with physical health and weight loss. A majority of people have tried one or more diets to lose weight. People join gyms, juice, and take supplements, all in an effort to optimize their physical health.
Sadly, most people don’t give their mental health a second thought.
The problem is, no matter how good you look in a bathing suit or how “ripped” you may be, or how low your cholesterol is if you aren’t mentally healthy, your life is negatively impacted.
In the age of Coronavirus, when many of us are dealing with health and financial struggles, the stress can really take a toll on our mental health. With this in mind, here are some good mental health habits to practice in 2021 and beyond:
Gratitude is like a magic bullet when it comes to mental health. Too often, when we are feeling negative emotions, we deny our full reality, that is to say, we deny all of the wonderful things that are present in our life. Be sure to take realistic stock in your life each day and feel grateful for the people, events, and things in your life that bring you joy and happiness. And be sure to share your gratitude with others!
The only thing worse than dealing with grief, sadness, and stress, is doing so while devaluing your own self-worth. Be sure to treat yourself as kindly as you do your loved ones. See the good in you and practice self-care and self-compassion every day.
Most of us cling to the idea that we can control every single facet of our lives. It’s just not true. This desire for full control brings with it a sense of anxiety. Make this year the year you finally let go of needing to control everything.
Toxic people are bad for our mental health. It’s time to cut ties with those who bring you down in order to make room for people who will support you.
Along with these habits, you may want to consider speaking regularly with a mental health counselor, who can help you navigate any issues you may be dealing with and provide coping techniques.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. Let’s discuss how I can help you make 2021 your best year yet!
SOURCES:
We live in a society that values things that appear perfect. And I suppose there are things that can be perfect. Architects can draw the perfect straight line, mathematicians can solve an equation with a perfect calculation, and a chocolate cake can be perfectly moist. But as human beings, we can never reach a state […]
We live in a society that values things that appear perfect. And I suppose there are things that can be perfect. Architects can draw the perfect straight line, mathematicians can solve an equation with a perfect calculation, and a chocolate cake can be perfectly moist.
But as human beings, we can never reach a state of perfection because we will always be a work in progress. Perfection indicates a finality – a finished product – but we as humans are always growing and changing.
Many people view perfectionism as a positive attribute. They believe the more “perfect” they are, the more success they will have in life.
Perfectionism is NOT the same thing as always doing your best. It is important that we always do our best. By doing so, we can experience healthy achievements and growth. But perfectionism takes this concept to the extreme.
People with perfectionist tendencies often have self-defeating thoughts and/or behaviors that actually make it HARDER to achieve their goals. Perfectionism also can make the individual feel stress, anxiety, and depression.
Most human beings, from time to time, will strive for perfectionism in some aspect of their life. As an example, that “perfectly moist chocolate cake” I mentioned earlier got that way because the person who baked it was trying to get everything JUST RIGHT as a gift for someone’s birthday.
But there are those people who are “full-time” perfectionists. They strive for perfection in all aspects of their life.
Here are some signs you may be a perfectionist:
Again, perfectionism is not the same thing as doing your best. It is a condition whereby the individual is almost incapable of feeling joy or pride at what they accomplish because in their own minds, they are never quite good enough.
If you believe you may have traits of perfectionism and it is causing you stress, there are things you can do to change your behavior so you can live a healthier and happier life.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
We’ve all had those days when the alarm goes off and we lie in bed, feeling depleted of our energy, and maybe even our good mood. We think to ourselves, “I’m not really sick, but I just need a break from real life today.” While taking a sick day is common when you are feeling […]
We’ve all had those days when the alarm goes off and we lie in bed, feeling depleted of our energy, and maybe even our good mood. We think to ourselves, “I’m not really sick, but I just need a break from real life today.” While taking a sick day is common when you are feeling physically unwell, what’s not as common – but perhaps should be – is taking a mental health day when you are feeling mentally and emotionally unwell.
Now many, if not most, companies do offer their employees personal days with no questions asked. But many people save these days for what seems like real-life emergencies. They feel guilty if they use one of these days to simply rest and relax their mind.
The truth is, taking a mental health day from work or school can be extremely important for your overall well-being. It can help you avoid burnout, improve your mood, help you get some much-needed rest, and rejuvenate you so you can tackle “real life” once again.
So how do you know when you are really in need of a mental health day and when you’re just feeling a bit lazy and unmotivated?
Stress
You’ve been feeling overwhelmed and irritable.
You Just Feel… Off
Sometimes we don’t feel like ourselves, but we can’t quite put our finger on what’s wrong. We know we feel anxious and like the world is a bit too much. This is a sure sign you need a break.
Getting Sick More Often
Are you dealing with a cold that “just won’t go away?” When we are stressed, our immune systems become compromised, and it’s harder for us to fight off the common cold.
The bottom line is you should never feel guilty for taking some time for your mental health. I encourage you to take a mental health day every once in a while. Sometimes it’s the absolute best thing we can do for ourselves.
And if you find a mental health day didn’t quite do the trick, you may have more going on in your life that requires more hands-on treatment. If you like the idea of speaking with someone about whatever is bothering you, please get in touch with me so we can discuss treatment options.
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